The Winner's Game Read Online Free PDF Page A

He’s fuming. She’s crying.
    He’s headed for the closet to grab a jacket. She’s maneuvering to the front door to block it.
    Neither of them seem to notice us on the couch, so we just sit there, watching the drama unfold. If we had popcorn, this might feel like a movie. And the script would go something like this:
    MOM
    (crying)
    I can’t even talk to you without you blowing up! All I said was it’d be nice if you helped out a little more around the house.
    DAD
    But the way you said it! It’s like you’re constantly accusing me of being lazy! Do you know how hard I work for this family?
    MOM
    (Tears streaming down her face;
    she doesn’t bother wiping them away.)
    I didn’t say you don’t work hard!
    DAD
    You insinuated.
    MOM
    This is so stupid! I should be able to ask for a little help without you blowing it out of proportion. I can’t do it all myself, Dell.
    DAD
    And I can’t have you nagging me every time I sit down for five seconds to rest, just because you feel like something needs to be done that very instant.
    MOM
    Except if I didn’t ask you, it’d never get gone. Or I’d end up doing it myself, which is usually what happens.
    DAD
    (pulling on his jacket, huffing loudly)
    Are you going to get out of the way? I can’t be around you right now.
    MOM
    (somewhat sarcastically)
    Right. Just like you can’t be around me when we go to the beach, except for (She drops her voice to mimic his.) ‘as many weekends as I can break away.’ Admit it, you could stay longer if you wanted to.
    DAD
    Is that was this is all about? You pick a fight with me about putting my shoes away because you’re mad about the beach house?
    MOM
    No, but you are being really selfish with your time. It’s our daughter , Dell. You should be around more than just a weekend here and there.
    DAD
    Oh, now I’m being selfish? Really? Did you really think I’d be able to stay all summer at the beach? I have a job, Emily. Is it selfish to want to stay gainfully employed? My job—and the insurance that comes with it—is the only thing keeping us afloat.
    MOM
    (whispering)
    You don’t even want to come. Admit it…
    DAD
    (shakes his head in disbelief)
    I’ve got to get out for a little bit. We’ll talk about this later.
    MOM
    (fresh tears welling up)
    Where are you going?
    DAD
    (glances at us, then at Mom)
    Out.
    I hate hearing them talk like that. I wish I could just get up and run out the door myself so I wouldn’t have to witness the crumbling of their marriage. But I am held in place by the worst kind of fear there is.
    The fear of the unknown.
    The fear of not knowing what the future holds for our family.

Chapter 4
Emily
    A TUNNEL . That’s how Ann described her near-death experience—like heading down a very dark tunnel, with no end in sight. She said she knew what was happening—that she was dying—and she was looking for a light on the other side. At length, a sliver of light crept into view. At once, she felt complete peace and she knew that all would be well. Then, without warning, she was thrust back into the bitter jaws of mortality, where light was plentiful, but so was pain.
    She doesn’t talk about the experience anymore, but I think about her “tunnel” all the time. Maybe that’s because right now, on the worst days, I view myself in a similar tunnel, looking for the light. There is darkness around me so often, born of worry and fear and frustration at all of the things in my life that seem to be going wrong. All I want is a little light at the end, to know that everything is going to be OK.
    What have I done…?
    I lean against the door for a full minute after Dell leaves, staring at the ground, not saying a word. I know the kids are all watching me—Ann and Cade on the couch, Bree at the top of the stairs—but I can’t bring myself to look at them. They must be so