to go out into my very own âFlorida room,â whatever that was, and look out at the Gulf of Mexico. I wondered if it would be any better, any different, than looking out at Lake Phalen. I thought I would settle for different, at least to begin with. Different would be a start. When I turned back, Tom Riley didnât look himself at all. At first I thought he was sick to his stomach, and then I realized he was struggling not to cry.
âTom, whatâs the matter?â I asked.
He tried to speak and produced only a watery croak. He cleared his throat and tried again. âBoss, I canât get used to seeing you this way, with just the one arm. Iâm so sorry.â
It was artless, unrehearsed, and sweet: a straightshot to the heart. I think there was a moment when we were both close to bawling, like a couple of Sensitive Guys on The Oprah Winfrey Show .
That idea helped me get myself under control again. âIâm sorry, too,â I said, âbut Iâm getting along. Really. Now drink your damn beer before it goes flat.â
He laughed and poured the rest of his Grain Belt into the glass.
âIâm going to give you an offer to take back to her,â I said. âIf she likes it, we can hammer out the details. Do-it-yourself deal. No lawyers needed.â
âAre you serious, Eddie?â
âI am. You do a comprehensive accounting so we have a bottom-line figure to work with. We divide the swag into four shares. She takes threeâseventy-five per centâfor her and the girls. I take the rest. The divorce itself . . . hey, Minnesotaâs a no-fault state, after lunch we can go out to Borders and buy Divorce for Dummies .â
He looked dazed. âIs there such a book?â
âI havenât researched it, but if there isnât, Iâll eat your shirts.â
âI think the sayingâs âeat my shorts.â â
âIsnât that what I said?â
âNever mind. Eddie, that kind of deal is going to trash the estate.â
âAsk me if I give a shit. Or a shirt, for that matter. I still care about the company, and the company is fine, intact and being run by people who know what theyâre doing. As for the estate, all Iâm proposing is that we dispense with the ego that usually allows the lawyers to swallow the cream. Thereâs plenty for all of us, if weâre reasonable.â
He finished his beer, never taking his eyes off me.âSometimes I wonder if youâre the same man I used to work for,â he said.
âThat man died in his pickup,â I said.
vii
Pam took the deal, and I think she might have taken me again instead of the deal if Iâd offeredâit was a look that came and went on her face like sunshine through clouds when we had our lunch to discuss the detailsâbut I didnât offer. I had Florida on my mind, that refuge of the newly wed and the nearly dead. And I think in her heart of hearts, even Pam knew it was for the bestâknew that the man who had been pulled out of his ruined Dodge Ram with his steel hardhat crushed around his ears like a crumpled pet-food can wasnât the same guy whoâd gotten in. The life with Pam and the girls and the construction company was over; there were no other rooms in it to explore. There were, however, doors. The one marked SUICIDE was currently a bad option, as Dr. Kamen had pointed out. That left the one marked DUMA KEY.
One other thing occurred in my other life before I slipped through that door, though. It was what happened to Monica Goldsteinâs Jack Russell Terrier, Gandalf.
viii
If youâve been picturing my convalescent retreat as a lakeside cottage standing in splendid isolation at theend of a lonely dirt road in the north woods, you better think againâweâre talking your basic suburbia. Our place by the lake stood at the end of Aster Lane, a paved street running from East Hoyt Avenue to the
Brian Craig - (ebook by Undead)