when I turned. For Tuesdayâs Pajama Day I swiped one of Breeâs pink nightgowns and wore it over a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. I barely got past the front office before the vice principal, an old fart with crooked teeth, pulled me aside and made me take it off. Worse, he made me call my mom (for like the tenth time this year), just in case sheâd forgotten what a âspecialâ son sheâs raising.
Wednesday and Thursday were Backward Day and Mismatched-Socks Day, but in protest over the whole nightgown thing I chose not to participate. This morning, thoughâthe last day of schoolâthe protest is over. How can I not participate in Talk-Like-a-Pirate Day?
This is the best day ever! And Iâm a natural! With a little effort, I manage to stay in character all the way until the end of school. When the final bell rings, Iâm having so much fun that I decide to see how long I can keep it up at home.
âAvast, woman,â I boldly tell my mom when I walk through the front door after getting off the bus. âI be home fer the summer. Have ye snacks to eat?â
âAhoy, Capân Cadey,â she laughs. âWelcome home. How was your last day?â
âIt be goodâ¦er, was good. But have ye no cookies or whatnot fer munchinâ? I be a hungry pirate.â
âSorry, kiddo. Not today. Your dad is on his way home right now, and heâs bringing a special surprise that I need to get ready for.â She turns to go, but stops halfway. âWhich reminds me. I need you to find a sleeping bag and an extra pillow. Youâve been volunteered to give up your bed tonight.â
âSomebody else be sleeping in me bed?â
âYes sir, Captain sir. Weâve got a stowaway for the night.â She winks and then speeds off to her bedroom.
What the heck is that supposed to mean? A stowaway? In my bed? âArrgg,â I grumble as I go down to the bonus room in the basement.
Breeâs bus hasnât arrived yet from the middle school, but like most days, Ann is sitting on the couch in front of the TV. âHey Cade,â she says as I walk by. âYou have a good day?â
I stop in place, eyeing her suspiciously, as any good buccaneer would do. âAye.â
âHuh?â
â Aye , said I. It be Talk-Like-a-Pirate Day.â
âOh. Wasnât that just for school?â
Channeling Blackbeard, I growl, âIt be fer as long as I want it to be fer!â
âWhatever.â She turns back to her daytime drama. When I come out of the storage closet a minute later and toss my favorite sleeping bag on the couch next to her, she looks away from the TV long enough to tell me I shouldnât make a mess because Mom is cleaning the house in preparation for our trip.
Itâs not too often that I know something that Ann doesnât, so I jump at the chance to share the news. âSheâs cleaning for a guest, not for our trip.â
Now I have her full attention. âSeriously?â
Oopsâ¦that didnât sound like a pirate. âWhat I meants to say, is, yer old lady dun found a stowaway, and she be sleeping like Goldilocks in me bed âtil morn.â
Annâs eyes bulge a bit. âWow, youâre actually really good at that. Annoying, but good. But tell me youâre not serious. Someone is staying here? Tonight?â
âAye. A surprise, said she. And I be booted to the couch like a filthy bilge rat.â
âA what rat? Wait. You know what, never mind.â She dismisses me and returns to her show.
With nothing better to do, I stay there and watch it too.
When Bree arrives a little later, she lies down on the floor in front of us. âDid you guys hear someoneâs coming over?â
âWho told you?â Ann asks.
âMom. Didnât she tell you?â
âNo.â Once again, Ann looks mad at being left out of the loop.
âWell, did you get off the couch
Brian Craig - (ebook by Undead)