The Teacher from Heck Read Online Free PDF Page A

floor, and searched under my bed. “What’s this ?” he cried.
    Uh-oh. Gassy. My big, fat bulldog.
    Think fast, Bernie. Think fast .
    There are no pets allowed in the Rotten School dorms.
    â€œUh…I confess, sir,” I said. “It’s a water balloon.”
    Skruloose kept the flashlight trained on Gassy. “A water balloon?” he boomed. “But…it has a face. And it’s staring back at me. And…PHEW…it stinks !”
    â€œNo, sir,” I said. “It’s a water balloon. Trust me.”
    I reached down and dragged Gassy out to the middle of the floor. “It looks a lot like a dog,” I said, “but it’s not. Go ahead. Squeeze it, sir. You’ll see. It squirts water.”
    â€œIt’s a dog,” Skruloose insisted. “A fat, smelly dog.”
    â€œSqueeze it,” I said. “You’ll see.”
    Mr. Skruloose bent down. He wrapped his hands around Gassy’s fat belly—and squeezed.

    â€œOoh, it stinks! It STINKS!” Feenman and Crench wailed, holding their noses.
    I guess Billy the Brain forgot to fill up Gassy’s water tank.
    â€œNo dogs in the dorm, soldier,” Mr. Skruloose said. He pointed to the door. “Take it outside. The dog has to sleep outside.”
    I gasped. “Outside? He can’t, sir,” I said. “The fresh air gives him a cough.”
    â€œOutside,” Mr. Skruloose insisted.
    Gassy gazed up at me with those sad, brown eyes. I didn’t want to part with my sweet pet. But I had no choice. I shouted out the door. “Belzer! Belzer, get in here! Take Gassy outside.”

    Belzer hurried in. He threw the fat bulldog over his shoulder and disappeared with him. I could hear Gassy whimpering all the way down the stairs.
    Or was that Belzer?
    â€œNo more Mr. Nice Guy!” Mr. Skruloose screamed. “I’m going to get tough now!”
    Uh-oh.
    â€œNow get your shoes, soldiers!” Skruloose yelled. “We’ll have a lesson. You need to polish your shoes for an hour every night. We want those shoes to shine in a dark closet—don’t we?”
    â€œYes, sir,” we said.
    We polished our shoes for an hour. Then Mr. Skruloose made us put them in a dark closet to make sure they glowed. Finally he headed down to the second floor to shape up the dudes down there.
    Feenman, Crench, and I slumped to the floor. Sweat poured down our faces. Our trembling hands were black from shoe polish.
    Crench sighed. “He’s gotta go,” he murmured. “We can’t survive this.”
    I sighed, too. “He sent away my poor doggy. At least he didn’t see my parrot.” I pointed to Lippy inhis cage on my dresser. “Lippy would never survive outside. He’s too delicate.”
    â€œGO SUCK A CUTTLEBONE!” the adorable prettyboy cried. “SUCK A CUTTLEBONE—AND CHOKE!”
    He’s so cute.
    Feenman tore at his long, scraggly hair. “Now there’s no way we can win the Water War. Not with Skruloose looking under our beds every night.”
    Through the open window I could hear Gassy, my poor pet. Out in the cold, dark night all by himself. Whimpering softly. Coughing.
    â€œWe’ve gotta get rid of Skruloose—fast,” I said.
    Feenman grabbed the front of my shirt. “Bernie, do you have a plan?”
    I flashed him a grin. “Does a monkey have chapped lips? Of course I have a plan!”

Chapter 12
W HY I S OBBED AND B AWLED
    The next day I started to put my plan into effect.
    I found April-May June in the kitchen of the Home Arts room. She was stacking peanut-butter pies on a shelf. I counted at least a dozen of them.
    Perfect. I needed only one.
    April-May’s mouth dropped open when she saw me, and she gave me a warm greeting. “Beat it, Bernie.”
    She loves to tease me. That’s how I know she likes me.
    â€œYou’re looking hot,” I said.
    â€œYou’re looking not