The Teacher from Heck Read Online Free PDF

,” she replied.
    Ha-ha. I love a girl with a sense of humor.
    She straightened her blazer over her pleated school skirt.
    â€œThe Rotten School colors look awesome on you,” I said. “They match your eyes.”
    She stared at me. “Huh? Green, yellow, and purple?”
    I saw Ms. Sally Monella, the Cooking teacher, watching us from across the room. “I need one of those peanut-butter pies,” I whispered to April-May.
    â€œAnd I need a second nose,” April-May replied. She turned away from me and started stacking pies again.
    â€œNo. Really,” I said. “It’s not for me, April-May. I swear.”
    â€œYou’re right, Bernie,” she said. “They’re not for you.”
    â€œJust one!” I pleaded.
    Ms. Monella walked over to us. “Bernie, how y’all doing?” she asked. She’s tall and young and pretty, and she’s from the South.
    â€œI’m doing fine,” I said, my eyes on the peanut-butter pies. Then I remembered something aboutMs. Monella. She’s a sucker for any kid who cries.
    She’s totally tenderhearted. She can’t say no to anyone who bawls and sobs.
    â€œWell, what y’all doin’ here?” Ms. Monella asked.
    â€œI—I—I—” I pretended to stutter. Then I burst into tears and sobbed and bawled as loudly as I could. I covered my face with both hands and let my whole body shake.

    â€œBernie? Bernie? What’s wrong?” Ms. Monella cried.
    I wiped the tears from my eyes. “Those p-peanut-butter pies,” I said in a shaky voice. “They smell just like the pies my mother used to bake….”
    â€œThey do?” Ms. Monella said. “How nice to have such sweet memories.”
    I let a few more tears run down my cheeks.
    April-May was watching me carefully. “He’s faking,” she told Ms. Monella.
    But Ms. Monella didn’t hear her. She reached up and pulled a peanut-butter pie down from the shelf. “Here ya go, Bernie,” she said softly. “Y’all enjoy this, ya hear?”
    â€œThank you, thank you,” I said in a trembling whisper. I grabbed the pie and ran out of the room.
    Â 
    Time for Part Two of my brilliant plan.
    I met Feenman, Crench, and Belzer in my dorm room. “Success!” I cried. “I got the pie.”
    Feenman had a fork in each hand. That’s one of his big talents. He eats with both hands at once. “Let’s DIG IN!” he shouted.
    â€œBack! Back!” I had to shove them all back. “It’s not for you.”
    All three of them groaned. “You got a peanut-butter pie? And you’re not gonna share it?”
    â€œI’m not going to eat it, either,” I said. “Back! Get BACK!” I gave Feenman a hard push. He was drooling on the pie.
    â€œWho’s it for?” Crench asked.
    â€œMr. Skruloose,” I said.
    Crench blinked. “Huh? You’re giving him a pie?”
    â€œThat’s my brilliant plan,” I said. “We’re going to make him feel welcome, dudes. We’re gonna charm him.”
    Feenman rolled his eyes. “Whoa. That’s supposed to be brilliant?” he muttered.
    â€œListen,” I said. “No one can resist the Bernie Bridges charm. You know that. Once he gets a taste of the old charm, he’ll soften up. He’ll turn into a good guy. A pussycat!”
    All three of them squinted at me.
    â€œHave faith, dudes!” I said. “Have FAITH. Have I ever let you down before?”
    â€œNever!” Belzer shouted. “Never!”
    â€œRight! Now let’s go find Skruloose,” I said. “This is going to be awesome.” I held the pie in front of me and led the way down the stairs.

Chapter 13
P EANUT -B UTTER P IE
    We found Mr. Skruloose downstairs in the Commons Room. That’s our living room, with a couch and big armchairs, game tables, a fridge with snacks, and a big TV. A place