The Orphan of Awkward Falls Read Online Free PDF Page A

asylum.”
    The mad hunchback’s tongue, parched and swollen from the Treatment, lolled out of his mouth.
We’re thirsty, love,
whispered the python.
Get us a drink.
    “Water,” he grunted. Someone handed him a paper cup, which he quickly emptied down his throat. He realized everyone was waiting for him to speak.
    Pretend to be nice,
Cynthia said.
Fool them.
    Stenchley obediently clasped his hands together and held them to his chest. He bowed his greasy head and rolled his bulging eyes up toward the mayor, like an innocent schoolboy.
    “The doctors has all been quite kind and gentle with me, sir.” Stenchley said in a nasaly croak. “They has kept me from doing evil and bloody deeds.”
    Very good.
    “Do you feel that you have been cured, Mr. Stenchley?” asked the mayor.
    Yesss.
    “Oh, yessir. I assure you I has tasted no creature’s blood since I come here. Other than bugs and wormies, that is.”
We really are getting hungry for something more filling, though.
    A ripple of laughter spread through the audience.
    “If you were ever to be released from the asylum, what do you think you would do, Mr. Stenchley?” asked the mayor’s wife.
    She looks delicious. I’ll bet she’s slow as well.
    “Well, missus, I think I would probably get myself something to eat first.”
Exactly.
    More laughter.
    We don’t like being laughed at!
    “No, I mean what would you do with your life?” The chubby woman spoke to him more slowly, as if he were a child. “Would you turn over a new leaf?”
    Stenchley was confused. “I don’t rightly know, miss. I ain’t seen no leaves in a long time.”
    The audience was now roaring with laughter. Stenchley wondered what was so funny.
    That is quite enough!
Cynthia hissed angrily.
Are you going to let them make fun of us like this?
    Dr. Herringbone nervously raised his arms to quiet the crowd. “All right, ladies and gentlemen. I think Mr. Stenchley has had enough excitement for one day. Let’s all give him a hand.”
    I want more than a hand.
    The audience stood, clapping and cheering enthusiastically for the seemingly sweet and harmless murderer.
    Dr. Herringbone quickly turned to the surgical team. “Let’s get the patient back into his restraints, gentlemen, immediately.”
    I don’t think so.
    At the sight of the orderlies approaching him with the straitjacket, its belts and straps dangling like tentacles, Fetid Stenchley’s hump began to burn as if it were filled with molten lava. At that moment a fundamental change occurred inside him. Whereas only a second before he had been a small unattractive criminal with an imaginary snake inside his shoulder, he now became a murderous python named Cynthia. Cynthia was not amused by the idea of being wrapped up like a burrito and returned to that cold little cell for more brain-pulverizing sessions. Dinner was finally being served!
    No one was aware of this deadly change, however. Stenchley looked the same as before. It was therefore all the more surprising when he suddenly yelled in a loud, menacing voice, “I AM CYNTHIA! AND I AM HUNGRY!”
    The audience began laughing again, but stopped short when Stenchley grabbed the necks of the two surgeons holding his arms and slammed their heads together. The men fell to the stage floor, out cold. With insect quickness, the madman pounced on Dr. Herringbone, pinned him to the floor, and began to bite at his arm.
    The orderlies rushed over and tried to pull Stenchley off the doctor, but they were no match for the incensed hunchback. Stenchley turned on them with the wild, Animal Channel fury of a dingo attacking a pair of marmosets.
    The terrified audience screamed in unison and stampeded for the exits. The students, being young and fast, were the first ones out the door. Sauerkraut hors d’oeuvres splatted on the floor when the buffet table was overturned by the fleeing doctors, leaving the floors slippery with stringy goo. The orthodontists from Florida beat a hasty retreat, nearly