The Orphan of Awkward Falls Read Online Free PDF

trampling the mayor’s wife on their way out. The poor woman stood frozen, clutching Lulu, and gaping with horror at the carnage taking place on the stage. The mayor tried in vain to lift his hefty spouse and carry her out of the theater, but finally abandoned this strategy and ran for the doors.
    Lulu, the hairless Egyptian spaniel, and the mayor’s wife were left completely alone with the snarling creature on the stage below. Stenchley, having whetted his appetite on a rather unsatisfying chunk of the doctor’s arm, now turned his attention to the plump, quivering entrée in the seats above. The manic hunchback bounded on all fours up the aisle and over several rows of seats toward the first lady.
    In a daring move that was lucky for the mayor’s wife, but not so much for the dog, Lulu leapt to her mistress’s defense, locking her jaws onto Stenchley’s bulbous nose. The madman swiped and swatted at the dog, which only caused it to dig its teeth deeper.Howling and disoriented with pain, Stenchley stumbled through the exit doors and out into the lobby with the spaniel firmly attached to his face.
    Doors slammed and deadbolts slid into place all around the now-empty lobby, trapping the mad killer. Stenchley looked around desperately for a way out. A tiny shaft of dusky light from the lobby’s lone window gave the room a wan glow, but to a prisoner who had been kept in a dark cell for so long, the light was blinding. Instinct told Stenchley that light meant freedom.
    Like a gazelle clearing a rail fence, the wailing hunchback bounded across the hall and launched himself and the lock-jawed Lulu through the glass.
    Outside in the asylum’s parking lot, frightened students, orthodontists, and dignitaries had packed the tour bus, which gunned its engine and fishtailed toward the entrance gates. Looking back, the passengers were treated to one last startling scene. They gasped as they saw the crazed madman with a dog dangling from his nose come crashing out of a window in a spray of shattered glass. Stenchley yelped as he slammed to the ground with a bounce, then ran to the nearest wall and clawed his way straight up its face.
    The first lady then staggered out into the parking lot, the tear-smeared mascara around her eyes making her look like a two- hundred-pound raccoon. She looked up just in time to see Stenchley and her pet disappear over the asylum wall.
    “Lulu!” she whimpered. “Lulu, my cupcake, come back!”

During the time it took Fetid Stenchley to receive the horrible Treatment, inflict numerous nasty wounds on people inside the theater, crash through the window with the First Dog locked on to his nose, and escape from the asylum, the Cravitzes finished unpacking their Volvo. Howard brought in some kindling from outside and lit a fire in the living room fireplace, while Barbara made her famous tofu chili with gluten-free cornbread on the side. They all sat on floor pillows in front of the fire and had dinner by candlelight.
    Josephine had planned to give her parents the silent treatment at least through dinner as the first phase of ongoing punishments for ruining her life, but her excitement over the mysterious picture she had found weakened her resolve. She couldn’t resist showing them the photo and the inscription on the back. Howard thought the man’s face looked familiar, but couldn’t recall where he’d seen him before.
    “What an interesting-looking couple,” said Barbara. “Haven’t we seen them in an old movie? They must have been sweethearts. I wonder what he wanted forgiveness for?”
    Josephine told her parents about her plan to find out who Sally and C were.
    “I think that’s a great idea, Jo,” Barbara said. “How can I help?”
    “You could let me borrow your laptop for starters.” Josephine was already heading for the kitchen to fetch the computer. This was something her parents would not normally have allowed, but since they were probably feeling guilty about the move to the