The Brain in Love: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life Read Online Free PDF Page A
Author: Daniel G. Amen
percent more sex than single folks. The economists estimated that a lasting marriage equated to the happiness generated by an extra $100,000 annually, while divorce depleted an estimated $66,000 annually worth of happiness. Taking care of your marriage can save you lots of money.
Table 1: Summary of Some of the Health Benefits of Regular Sexual Contact
For women, in research studies, regular sex with a partner has been associated with:
more regular menstrual cycles
more fertile menstrual cycles
lighter periods
better moods
better memories
pain relief
better bladder control
fewer colds and flu
reduced stress
staying in shape
increase in the youth-promoting hormone DHEA
increased testosterone and estrogen
better weight control—sex burns about 200 calories per half hour, yoga 114, dancing (rock) 129, walking (3 mph) 153, weight training 153.
For men, regular sex with a partner has been associated with:
increased heart rate variability (a sign of heart health and a calmer mind)
improved heart cardiovascular function (three times a week decreased risk of heart attack or stroke by half) higher testosterone levels (stronger bones and muscles)
improved prostate function
improved sleep.
Lesson #1: Remember Methuselah’s secret—frequent sexual activity is good for your health .
NO FORETHOUGHT
EQUALS NO FOREPLAY
Understanding and Optimizing the Brain Systems of Sex
“The great sins of the world take place in the brain: but it is in the brain that everything takes place. … It is in the brain that the poppy is red, that the apple is odorous, that the skylark sings.”
—OSCAR WILDE
A re you:
Impulsive or thoughtful?
Rigid or flexible?
Anxious or confident?
Negative or hopeful?
Short-tempered or patient?
Able to admit problems or in denial?
Coordinated or prone to bumping into walls?
Attached or afraid?
Faithful or a wanderer?
The inner workings of the brain influence all we do sexually. Once thought of as a black box too complex to understand, thebrain is now being studied and understood like never before. We know that within the brain there are systems that work together to produce our personality, cares, dreams, aspirations, and sexual competencies. In my work as a neuroscientist, I have found it useful to think about five different brain systems that relate to human behavior: prefrontal cortex, anterior cingulate gyrus, deep limbic system, basal ganglia, and temporal lobes. Each of these systems interacts with other areas of the brain to produce the effective or not-so-effective human behavior.
The brain is divided into four main lobes or regions: frontal (forethought and judgment), temporal (memory and mood stability), parietal (sensory processing and direction sense), and occipital lobes (visual processing). There are also important structures deep in the brain, such as the anterior cingulate gyrus (gear shifter), basal ganglia (anxiety and pleasure center), and deep limbic system (emotional center). A useful generalization about how the brain functions is that the back half—the parietal, occipital, and back part of the temporal lobes—takes in and perceives the world, and determines what is sexy to us. The front half of the brain integrates this information, analyzes it, decides what to do, then plans and executes the decision, such as “Shall I go on a date with him if he asks?”
This chapter will give a detailed look at the five brain systems of behavior, including a discussion of the functions, problems, and treatments of each system, especially as they relate to sexual relationships. In addition, I’ll include a section on common things partners say when these systems are out of whack. This section will help readers more clearly identify individual vulnerabilities and problems. For each of the brain systems discussed, I will add an “at a glance” summary chart highlighting the major functions, problems, and treatments. See my book Change Your Brain, Change Your Life for more
Table 1: Summary of Some of the Health Benefits of Regular Sexual Contact
For women, in research studies, regular sex with a partner has been associated with:
more regular menstrual cycles
more fertile menstrual cycles
lighter periods
better moods
better memories
pain relief
better bladder control
fewer colds and flu
reduced stress
staying in shape
increase in the youth-promoting hormone DHEA
increased testosterone and estrogen
better weight control—sex burns about 200 calories per half hour, yoga 114, dancing (rock) 129, walking (3 mph) 153, weight training 153.
For men, regular sex with a partner has been associated with:
increased heart rate variability (a sign of heart health and a calmer mind)
improved heart cardiovascular function (three times a week decreased risk of heart attack or stroke by half) higher testosterone levels (stronger bones and muscles)
improved prostate function
improved sleep.
Lesson #1: Remember Methuselah’s secret—frequent sexual activity is good for your health .
NO FORETHOUGHT
EQUALS NO FOREPLAY
Understanding and Optimizing the Brain Systems of Sex
“The great sins of the world take place in the brain: but it is in the brain that everything takes place. … It is in the brain that the poppy is red, that the apple is odorous, that the skylark sings.”
—OSCAR WILDE
A re you:
Impulsive or thoughtful?
Rigid or flexible?
Anxious or confident?
Negative or hopeful?
Short-tempered or patient?
Able to admit problems or in denial?
Coordinated or prone to bumping into walls?
Attached or afraid?
Faithful or a wanderer?
The inner workings of the brain influence all we do sexually. Once thought of as a black box too complex to understand, thebrain is now being studied and understood like never before. We know that within the brain there are systems that work together to produce our personality, cares, dreams, aspirations, and sexual competencies. In my work as a neuroscientist, I have found it useful to think about five different brain systems that relate to human behavior: prefrontal cortex, anterior cingulate gyrus, deep limbic system, basal ganglia, and temporal lobes. Each of these systems interacts with other areas of the brain to produce the effective or not-so-effective human behavior.
The brain is divided into four main lobes or regions: frontal (forethought and judgment), temporal (memory and mood stability), parietal (sensory processing and direction sense), and occipital lobes (visual processing). There are also important structures deep in the brain, such as the anterior cingulate gyrus (gear shifter), basal ganglia (anxiety and pleasure center), and deep limbic system (emotional center). A useful generalization about how the brain functions is that the back half—the parietal, occipital, and back part of the temporal lobes—takes in and perceives the world, and determines what is sexy to us. The front half of the brain integrates this information, analyzes it, decides what to do, then plans and executes the decision, such as “Shall I go on a date with him if he asks?”
This chapter will give a detailed look at the five brain systems of behavior, including a discussion of the functions, problems, and treatments of each system, especially as they relate to sexual relationships. In addition, I’ll include a section on common things partners say when these systems are out of whack. This section will help readers more clearly identify individual vulnerabilities and problems. For each of the brain systems discussed, I will add an “at a glance” summary chart highlighting the major functions, problems, and treatments. See my book Change Your Brain, Change Your Life for more
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