The Brain in Love: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life Read Online Free PDF

information on each system. Appendix A is a self-test to help readers evaluate these systems for themselves. Obviously, any medication recommendations need to be discussed with your doctor.

    Prefrontal Cortex (PFC): No Forethought
Equals No Foreplay
    The frontal lobes (the front half of the brain) are divided into three areas: the motor cortex, which controls the body’s motor movements, such as walking, chewing, and moving your fingers and toes; the premotor area, which is involved in planning motor movements; and the prefrontal cortex (PFC), the front third of the brain, which is involved with executive functions such as planning, forethought, judgment, organizing, impulse control, and learning from past mistakes.
    The PFC is the most evolved part of the human brain, representing 30 percent of the cortex, compared to the chimpanzee, our closest primate cousin, whose PFC occupies only 11 percent; a dog’s PFC, only 7 percent; or a cat’s PFC, only 3.5 percent. This explains my cat Annabelle, who has no forethought or judgment. She lives totally in the moment and will drink out of the toilet, no matter how many times she has been told “No.”
    The prefrontal cortex houses our ability to guide our behavior over time to reach our goals. When the PFC works as it should, we are thoughtful, empathic, expressive, organized, and goal oriented. The PFC is often called the executive part of the brain, like the boss at work. When it is low in activity, it is as if the boss is gone, so there is little to no supervision and nothing gets done. When the PFC works too hard, it is as if the boss is micromanaging everyone, and people are left with anxiety and worry. I call the PFC the Jiminy Cricket part of the brain. It houses our conscience and our ability to stay on track toward our goals. It is the part of the brain that, as Jiminy Cricket says in the movie Pinocchio , “is the still, small voice that helps you decide between right and wrong.” In the dating, relationship, and sex world, the PFC helps us be patient, thoughtful, goal driven, and empathetic toward our partner.
    Problems with the PFC result in a “Jiminy Cricket Deficiency Syndrome”: a diminished conscience, poor judgment, impulsivity, desire to seek excitement, short attention span, disorganization, trouble learning from experience, poor time management, and lack of empathy. It has been associated with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), antisocial personality disorder, sexual addictions, brain injuries, and some forms of dementia. Low activity in this part of the brain is often due to a deficiency in the neurotransmitter dopamine; increasing it through supplements or medications is often helpful.
    Healthy activity in the PFC is associated with conscientiousness; abnormal PFC activity is associated with inconsistency and troubled decisions. In reviewing 194 studies, Drs. T. Boggs and B. W. Robertsfrom the Department of Psychology at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign found that increased death rates were associated with poor PFC activity due to impulsive behaviors (a lack of conscientiousness)—tobacco use, diet and activity patterns, excessive alcohol use, drug use, violence, risky sexual behavior, risky driving, and suicide. You need a good PFC to live long and be happy!
    PFC in Relationships
    When the PFC functions properly, people are able to engage in goal-directed behavior and effectively supervise their words and deeds. They are able to think before they say things and they tend to say things that effect their goals in a positive way. They also tend to think before they do things and learn from mistakes. In addition, they are able to focus and attend to conversations, follow through on commitments and chores, and organize their actions and spaces. They are also able to be settled and sit still. They are able to express what they feel. And they tend not to like conflict, tension, and turmoil.
    When the PFC is underactive, people