Jean it was too much. I was through talking French. I was finished. I said, âFather, canât we go home now?â I said, âPlease.â
He stopped smiling. His face got the same tired gray look it had before we started saying âBonne nuitâ to each other. He shook his head. âIâm sorry,â he said. âThe government has made me an officer in the army and I have a duty and I canât run from that duty, can I? If Iâm ordered to report to London on the Allied Aviation Committee itâs my duty to go and not complain. Iâm sorry.â He shook his head and said, âIâm very sorry, Johnny.â He turned off the light and shut the door. Heâd sounded sorry, too. I wonât ever forget how sorry heâd sounded. It was as though Iâd done something to make him sorry.
I couldnât go right to sleep. I thought about the French changing my name into âJeanâ and how queer names were and about Mr. Fischfasse and all at once I remembered heâd known my name. Heâd called me âMr. Littlehorn.â I couldnât understand that. He hadnât ever seen me before. I hadnât told him my name, either. I couldnât get over it. I was bothered. I went to sleep and had dreams about him, only he was like something made out of dry wood in my dreams, about a mile high, his white face stuck on top of the sticks, like a dead fish.
3
THE BARGAIN
When it was time, the next day, for Albert to wheel me outside I told him I didnât want to go back to the parc. I didnât explain the true reason; I merely said to Albert to push me through some other part of Paris because I was tired of seeing the same old streets. He nodded and replied, âYess,â and shoved along, humming to himself.
The fact was, I had a notion Mr. Fischfasse might be waiting in the parc and I didnât want to see him again. I canât explain exactly why. Maybe it was because of the dreams Iâd had last night, seeing that fishlike white head of his miles up in the air on sticks, grinning down at me, as if it held a secret against me and was waiting for me to get in trouble.
Despite being bundled in the blanket, I shivered a little. Albert wheeled me around the big opera house. He trundled me along through another street. I got to thinking Iâd imagined everything, and was wondering why Iâd been scaredâfeeling secure, of course, not expecting to run into Mr. Fischfasse again.
Well, Albert either didnât understand my directions or was just dumb. He ran smack into that parc again, this time from another direction. I didnât want to kick up a row about it. It wasnât important enough. Albert let go of the handle to the chair. He said if I didnât mind, heâd leave me here a minute and buy himself more tobacco.
I did mind. I was telling him I was tired and he could buy himself tobacco in the hotel but he merely smiled, pleased and cheerful, as if he hadnât heard me, and thought Iâd given him permission to go.
I called, âAlbertââ
But he nodded. âI be back in vun minute,â and away he trotted, his fat legs moving faster than I realized they could go. I sunk down into the chair, wanting him to get back. When I looked up, Mr. Fischfasse was sauntering toward me through the trees.
I tried not to notice him, hoping heâd go on.
He didnât. He halted. âAh, bon jour, Jean,â he said to me.
âBon jour, Mr. Fischfasse,â I said, knowing how to answer that. Next I asked, âHowâd you know my name?â
He looked perplexed. âBut you told it to me yesterday.â
I probably blinked at that. I never remembered telling him, but I must have done it after all. It explained everything.
His greenish eyes lit up again. He smiled. He sat down on the bench, taking his time about doing it, as if he might break some of those sticks inside his dark suit.
I
Janwillem van de Wetering