Stupid Movie Lines Read Online Free PDF

in
Slugs,
1987
    On Defense Programs, the Cheese Problem and:
    Had we half the money that was appropriated for such worthy projects as cheese price supports, we would have had our ICBMs long ago!
    Irate scientist explaining some of life’s little problems to an army general in
Rocket Attack, U.S.A.,
1958
    On Democrats, Reasons for:
    They let ’em smoke and drive. They even put ’em in pants. And what do you get? A Democrat for president!
    Dirty old man complaining about the go-go chicks in
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!,
1966
    On Developing Your Assets:
    Mother, I know I don’t have any talent and I know all I have is a body, and I
am
doing my bust exercise.
    Jennifer (Sharon Tate) on the phone to her mother in
Valley of the Dolls,
1967
    On Dialogue, Not Quite Oscar Caliber
    Sandra:
Let’s find a gas station. I have to pee-pee.
    Jennie:
Tinkle!
    Carole:
Leak!
    Laurie:
Piss!
    The girls (Lisa Hartman, Lorna Luft, and Lynn-Holly Johnson) teasing good-girl Sandra (Wendy Schaal), in
Where the Boys Are ’84,
1984
    On Dialogue, Great Moments in:
    Sidekick:
Hey, we know these guys! They’re the Lee brothers: Ug and Home.
    Mohawk:
Huh?
    Bad-guy gang members checking out the heroes in
Double Dragon,
1993
    On Dialogue That Fortunately Never Made the Bible:
    Aw, she’s lyin’. They’re Christians. Arrest ’em.
    Roman soldier in Roman marketplace in
The Sign of the Cross,
1932
    On Dietetic Threats:
    I’ll cut your fats out, don’t you believe it?
    Subtitle
, It’s Now or Never,
1992
    On Diplomacy, Great Moments in:
    Army officer:
You’re doing
what
? Are you mad? You mean you want us to conduct peace negotiations with BUGS?
    Scientist:
Either that or you can consider praying!
    John Saxon in
The Bees,
1978
    On Dirty Old Men, Snappy Comments from:
    You girls a bunch of nudists or are you just short of clothes?
    Dirty old man to go-go chicks in
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!,
1966
    On Dirty Pictures, Crime-Producing:
    Show me a crime and I’ll show you the dirty picture that caused it!
    Cop about porno’s effect in
The Sinister Urge,
1961
    On Disabilities, Pre-PC Days and:
    He’s tied to a dead arm for the rest of his life. A claw hand!
    Betty Hutton about maimed circus performer Cornel Wilde in
The Greatest Show on Earth,
1952
    On Disembodied Heads, Conversational Openers for:
    I’m just a head out here. What are you in there?
    Bodiless head, sitting on a table, to mysterious voice coming from a closet in
The Brain That Wouldn’t Die,
1962
    On Distinctions, Vitally Important:
    Just don’t call me a male stripper—I’m an exotic dancer. Don’t ever forget it!
    Male stripper Matthew Reed to ace journalist John Travolta in
Perfect,
1985
    On DJs, Ones We’d Rather Not Hear, Thank You:
    Men have destroyed the roads of wonder and their cities squat like black toads; in the orchards of life, nothing is clean or real as a girl, naked to love or be a man with.
    Clint Eastwood as a cool-talkin’ DJ in
Play Misty for Me,
1971
    On Doctors, Pretty Calm:
    Oh, he’ll be all right. He’s got a bad blow on the head, suffering from shock, mashed hands. But I can’t find much other damage.
    Doctor examining a victim of the rampaging giant sea creature in
The Monster of Piedras Blancas,
1958
    On Doctors, When They’re
Really
Needed:
    Mr. Pleyel’s been murdered! Get a doctor! Quickly!
    The dead man’s secretary in
Phantom of the Opera,
1943
    On Double-Dating, Literal:
    Daisy:
Come on, Viv, we have a date.
    Viv:
No,
you
have a date.
    Daisy:
If I have a date, you have a date, too, my dear.
    Siamese twin sisters, powdering their noses in
Chained for Life,
1951
    On Double Entendres:
    Aha! The Capitan’s blade is not so firm, eh?
    Zorro (Tyrone Power) taunting the evil Capitan (Basil Rathbone) during a sword fight in
The Mark of Zorro,
1940
    On Double Entendres, Unintended, Part 1:
    Gosh, how one’s women do mount up!
    Andy Hardy’s (Mickey Rooney’s) last line in
Andy Hardy Meets a Debutante,
1940
    On Double Entendres, Unintended,