Stupid Movie Lines Read Online Free PDF Page A

Wind,
1990
    On the Dead, Deadness of:
    The dead look so terribly dead when they’re dead.
    Earnest young hero Tyrone Power in
The Razor’s Edge,
1946
    On the Dead, Final Word on:
    TV reporter:
Are they [the ghouls] slow-moving, chief?
    Sheriff:
Yeah. They’re dead. They’re … all messed up.
    Night of the Living Dead,
1968
    On the Dead, Moving Problems of:
    I know he’s returned from the dead, but do you really think he’s moved back in?
    Detective questioning a psychic about the undead sicko they’re trying to deal with in
The First Power,
1990
    THE STUPIDEST ROMANTIC SCENES

    A man, a woman, a sunset, and soft music welling up on the sound track. This is the stuff of romance on the silver screen.
    But all too often, at the very moment that the hero is gazing into the heroine’s eyes, her lips are trembling with desire, and the lush strings are reaching a crescendo—he opens his mouth and says his lines … and it’s bye-bye love, hello hysteria.
    Sometimes it’s a matter of a little too much—too much emoting, too much sighing, too much sticky sentiment. Other times, it’s a bizarre non sequitur or a completely inappropriate response. Still other times, it’s the juxtaposition of ostensible romantic dialogue just as a giant plastic leech is ravaging the countryside—something we suspect happens less often than depicted on screen—that makes the love scene ludicrous.
    However, whatever the reason for the inadvertent thud where tender emotion was intended, these moments of ridiculous romance are certainly provocative … and always entertaining.
    On Touching Moments, Literal:
    Mickey Rourke:
I had a father for a while. When he disappeared, I barely spoke for years. I stayed in the third grade a long time.
    Carré Otis (unbuttoning her blouse):
Just reach out and touch me.
    Mickey Rourke, as a Harley-riding billionaire, and Carré Otis as his sensitive attorney in
Wild Orchid,
1990
    On Romance, Slimy:
    When I’m sitting here with you, I don’t even think about slime people.…
    Hero to heroine in
The Slime People,
1962
    On Love Scenes, Annoying:
    Sergeant Brett:
You’re the sweetest poison that ever got into a man’s blood! I love you!
I want
you! … Listen, you little wildcat, you’re the only real thing that’s ever happened to me. And nobody, nothing could ever make me let you go.
    Louvette the half-breed:
I love you so terrible bad, I feel good.… My heart sings like a bird!
    Robert Preston and Paulette Goddard in
North West Mounted Police,
1940

     
    On Dead, Partly and Completely:
    Maybe I didn’t kill him completely dead.
    Willie (Brian Wimmer), the “normal” brother, after he and his subnormal sibling accidentally wound someone during a botched kidnapping in
Late for Dinner,
1991
    On Death, Confusing Discussions of:
    If we wake up dead, we’ll know who to blame!
    Queen Nyla (Jennifer Delora) to a companion who wants to rest before going on with a dangerous journey in
Robot Holocaust,
1987
    On Death Rays, Clever Things to Do with:
    I will calculate the spectrum dust in the calcinator death ray to counteract this antibiotic. And you will all be destroyed.
    The evil space creature Ro-Man, trying to figure out a way to get around serum Hu-Mans are taking to protect themselves from the calcinator death ray in
Robot Monster,
1953
    On Death Rays, Girls’ Inability to Use:
    Astronaut 1:
How could a bunch of women invent a gizmo like that?
    Astronaut 2:
Even if they did, how could they aim it?
    Male astronauts who don’t think the girls on Venus can do it in
Queen of Outer Space,
1958
    On Death, Unusual Problems with:
    It’s getting so it ain’t even safe to be dead!
    Worried grave digger observing the bomb-cratered graveyard in
Return of the Vampire,
1943
    On Deductions, Sluggish:
    Now, maybe, just maybe, we’re dealing with a mutant form of slug here, a kind that eats.…
meat!
    Mike Brady (Michael Garfield), the health inspector, detailing his theory about the mayhem in town