Stupid Movie Lines Read Online Free PDF Page B

Part 2:
    My, what a big bat!
    Nervous leading man in
Dracula,
1931
    On Double Entendres, Unintended, Part 3:
    How’d you like me to saddle up your old boyfriend?
    Hoyt (Troy Donahue) to Susan (Connie Stevens)—he means her horse—in
Susan Slade,
1961
    On
Dragnet
Stars, Too Cool:
    Pete Kelly:
Clear the place out. Get somebody to help bring Joey in.
    Club owner:
What’s the matter?
    Kelly:
It’s rainin’ on him.
    Jack Webb (as Pete Kelly) talking to speakeasy owner after his drummer has been shot in an alley in
Pete Kelly’s Blues,
1955
    On Dramatic Moments, Driven:
    Lock the kids in their rooms! The car is in the garage!
    James Brolin as the panicky dad being stalked by a 1977 Lincoln Continental in
The Car, 1977
    On Drug Addiction, a Thousand and One Helpful Synonyms for:
    Voice-over as a cool young girl smokes a cigarette in a police station:
Hooked. A monkey on her back. Hophead. Junkie. Hype. There’s no shortage of words in the jargon to identify her.
    Narrator in the 1950s documentary
Narcotic Story
a.k.a
. Dread Persuasion, 1958
    On Drug Advice,
Very
Important:
    If you flake around with the weed, you’ll wind up doing the hard stuff.
    Russ Tamblyn in
High School Confidential,
1958
    On Drunk Jokes, Hilarious:
    Drunk:
Say, what’s your name?
    Mary Lou:
I do declare!
    Drunk:
Clare. Oh, that’s a pretty name!
    A drunk meets Mary Lou (Leslie Parrish) at a party in
Three on a Couch,
1966, starring Jerry Lewis and Janet Leigh
    On Dry Mouth, Mongol Rulers and:
    Temujin:
I grieve.
    Kumlek:
Already the Mongol whelp whines! Heh heh heh.
    Temujin:
I grieve that I cannot salute you as I would … I am bereft of spit!
    Temujin (John Wayne as Genghis Khan) speaking to his archenemy the Tartar leader Kumlek, in
The Conqueror,
1956
    On Dudes, Tough:
    The fastest, meanest, baddest mother ever to hit the big screen. He’s quick, he’s black, and he’s back. Get ready for the punchingest, kickingest, stompingest dude on earth. Right on! The movie that grabs you and never lets go.
    Promo for
Black Belt Jones,
1974

E
    On Earthquakes, Annoying Problems with:
    Earthquakes bring out the worst in some guys.
    George Kennedy, rescuing a woman from a National Guardsman who has gone berserk in
Earthquake,
1974
    On Elvis Movies, Great Romantic Dialogue from:
    Cynthia:
Mike, I really go for you!
    Mike:
I’m just about to go for you!
    Cynthia:
Oooh. I can hardly wait!
    Mike:
If you’re not outta here in about three seconds, I’m gonna put ya over mah knee, I’m gonna paddle your bottom until it’s as red as that jalopy you’re drivin!
    Elvis Presley (Mike) and Shelley Fabares (Cynthia) in
Spinout,
1966
    On English Kings, Why They’re Not Such Hot Dates:
    War! War! That’s all you think of, Dick Plantagenet! You burner! You pillager!
    Virginia Mayo as Lady Edith to George Sanders in
King Richard and the Crusaders,
1954
    On Epitaphs, Clichéd:
    She didn’t die of pneumonia, she died of life.
    Jean Harlow’s agent, played by Red Buttons, in
Harlow,
1965
    On Erections, Debatable:
    I’m erect, why aren’t you?
    Tony Moss in
Showgirls,
1995
    On Erotic Dancers, Fascinating Dialogue from:
    Cristal:
I like nice tits.
    Nomi:
I like
having
nice tits.
    Gina Gershon and Elizabeth Berkley in
Showgirls,
1995
    On Escort Services, Bad Nights at the:
    Girl:
What’s eating you?
    Rita:
The first night he’s home in a month and does he ask me to go out? Well, does he?
    Other girl:
No?
    Rita:
No? No is right. Instead he calls an escort bureau for a date.
    Girl:
So? A guy’s a guy and a date’s a date. Who is he?
    Rita:
Who is he! Who do you think he is? He’s my husband!
    Rita (Kathryn Keys) and her friends at the escort service get a rude shock in
Escort Girl,
1941
    On Establishment Cats, Problems for:
    That’s why the establishment cats aren’t making it. They’re into that nine-to-five bag.
    John Phillip Law as a hippie in
Skidoo,
1968
    On Excedrin Moments, Marital:
    Frankie:
Hymie, get me an aspirin. My head’s splitting.
    Kay:
And