SM 101: A Realistic Introduction Read Online Free PDF Page A

hot for one another and want to have sex right then. It also sometimes expresses itself when, after a period of very satisfying sex, one person will suddenly start an argument with the other, for no apparent reason.
    Given that we see these behaviors, given that we know that the brains of men are subtly but definitely different from those of women, and given that there is at least some evidence that the brains of male homosexuals may be subtly different than the brains of male heterosexuals, it’s reasonable to wonder if the brains of SM folks are also subtly different from the brains of non-SM folks. Could there be some sort of enhanced connectivity between the sexual arousal section of the limbic system and the anger (domination) and/or the fear (submission) sections of the brain? Could arousal in one section cause above-average arousal in another section? Possibly. Actually, very possibly.
Their fantasies always bring them back.
     
    If this is so, then a major difference between SM people and non-SM people is that SM people bring these facts out and look at them. They try to figure out how to deal with the urges and desires thus created in a safe and realistic way. They devise rules to control and contain these urges and desires, and thus give them form. In a word, they “ritualize” how these urges will be expressed. Therefore, if I had to describe SM in a very concise manner, I’d describe it as “ritualized sexual aggression and submission.”
    Why are so many people against SM? The major reason I used to be “in the closet” about my interest in SM (other than the normal reluctance to discuss the details of my sex life with anyone other than my lover) was that when I told somebody about my interest in SM, they usually had a radically different image of SM than I had.
    I see SM as a caring, consensual, safe form of intense erotic play that causes no significant damage (much less than is caused by participating in many sports). Most uninformed people, on the other hand, conjure up images of rape, wife-beating, mental coercion, kidnapping, and psychopathic torture. They think that stuff turns me on! No wonder they conclude that I’m dangerously crazy.
    So let me make a few things clear. I oppose rape. I oppose wife-beating. I oppose mental coercion. I oppose kidnapping. And, yes, prude that I am, I oppose psychopathic torture. I think many people feel repelled by SM because they mistakenly see it as cruelty. SM is not cruelty.
    Unfortunately the media, especially, I’m sorry to say, the adult, erotic media, frequently and falsely portray nonconsensual, violent, and brutal acts as SM. Stories, photographs, videos, and so forth that depict coercion, kidnapping, rape, and torture as part of SM — and that fail to distinguish between the fantasy of nonconsent and the reality of consensual play — are all too common. Most of this crap is made by “mainstream” adult publishers who don’thave the slightest realistic understanding of SM. Thus, they mislead their customers.
    We have a direct, effective remedy for this: Don’t buy that garbage! Better yet, contact the publishers who mislead their customers about what is and is not consensual SM. Tell them that you’re not buying their stuff, and tell them why.
    It’s time that the SM community organized to oppose the representation of nonconsensual, brutal material as SM. If we see such material in magazines, books, movies, or elsewhere, we should confront it for the damaging fraud it is.
The first time I read The Story of O I got so wet that I soaked the chair I was sitting in.
     
    This is absolutely not censorship. I have no opposition per se to the artistic depiction of rape, abuse, or other forms of violence. I don’t personally enjoy seeing that stuff, but I deeply oppose censoring it. What I do oppose is its being falsely labeled as SM. SM is SM. Violence is violence. No connection whatsoever exists between the two!
    Also, I believe we should oppose giving