Selby's Shemozzle Read Online Free PDF Page A

chocolate won’t break. It’s still too hard. I’ll just have to wait till it melts some more.’
    â€˜Hey, Billy! ‘Willy said. ‘Let’s push the bunny in the pool.’
    â€˜Okay, Willy.’
    Willy and Billy dragged Selby towards the swimming pool.
    â€˜They’re going to drown me!’ Selby thought. ‘I’ve got to get out of here!’ He started yelling. ‘Let me go, you brats! Don’t you dare throw me in the pool!’
    With Selby right at the edge of the pool, Willy and Billy suddenly stopped.
    â€˜Do Easter bunnies talk, Willy?’
    â€˜No.’
    â€˜This one talked, Willy.’
    â€˜Did not.’
    â€˜Did so.’
    â€˜Didn’t!’ ‘Did!’
    â€˜You’re stupid!’
Willy screamed.
    â€˜No, I’m not! You are!’
Billy screamed back.
    Just then Selby took his deepest breath ever, breaking the chocolate around him intohundreds of pieces. Willy and Billy stopped screaming.
    â€˜It’s the dog!’ Willy cried. ‘It’s him! Auntie! Come quick!’
    â€˜What
are
you boys talking about?’ Mrs Trifle said, walking out into the yard. ‘Look at the mess you’ve made! You’ve spread chocolate all over the yard! And you promised you wouldn’t!’
    â€˜We didn’t do it, Auntie — it was him! ‘Willy said, pointing to Selby.
    â€˜And look what you’ve done to poor Selby! You’ve put chocolate all through his fur. That was cruel!’
    â€˜It’s not my fault! ‘Willy bawled.
    â€˜I didn’t do it!’ Billy cried. ‘The doggy did it! He was in the chocolate! Honest!’
    â€˜You’re very naughty boys,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘I’m going to ring your mother right now and she can come and take you home.’
    â€˜Isn’t life wonderful?’ Selby thought. ‘The brats got the blame for something they didn’t even do for a change.’ He wandered over to a bush and settled down for a well-earned nap. ‘Mrs Trifle was right. Chocolate is dangerous for dogs — well, it was for this dog, anyway.’
    Paw note: It’s true. Never give your dog or cat chocolate.
    S
    Paw note: See the first story, ‘Selby’s Secret', in the book
Selby’s Secret
.
    S

The Shemozzle Bird

    Of all the birds of which I’ve heard,
The worst is the Shemozzle Bird.
Even scientists confess —
This bird is a disgusting mess!
    Its head is bald, its feathers tatty,
Everything about it’s ratty,
It picks up garbage all day long,
While giving off an awful pong.
    It fills its nest with vile scum,
Like chunks of spat-out chewing gum,
A rotting fish, some hair, a caper,
And even pre-owned toilet paper.
    Most birdies like to sing and chirp,
But this one likes to sit and burp.
While other birds have gone extinct,
Forget the
ex
— this bird just stinks.
    So if you ever hear its cry
Above you on a branch nearby,
Don’t stick around, don’t hang about,
And don’t look up — just get out!

Sylvia’s Secret
    â€˜That must be a very funny book,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘You’ve been giggling away for ages.’
    â€˜It is,’ Mrs Trifle said, wiping away her tears. ‘It’s a children’s book called
Sylvia’s Secret.
It’s about a cat that can talk but she’s keeping it a secret.’
    Selby’s ears shot up.
    â€˜It sounds a bit like those books about what’s-his-name, the talking dog,’ Dr Trifle said.
    â€˜More than just a bit,’ Selby thought.
‘Sylvia’s Secret
sounds exactly like the books about me!’
    â€˜Only this cat lives with the author and talksto her all the time,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘That’s what she claims, anyway.’
    â€˜Hmmm,’ Dr Trifle hmmmed. ‘So why are you reading it?’
    â€˜Because the author of the book, Fiona Fullstop, has asked me to launch it.’
    â€˜Launch it?