Selby's Shemozzle Read Online Free PDF Page B

Selby blinked back a tear as he looked at the cartoon picture of Sylvia on the cover of the book.
    He puckered up and gave her a big kiss.
    â€˜Now, hang on!’ he thought. ‘Why do I think she can’t be a real talking cat? I mean, I’m a real talking dog. Oh, Sylvia, I’ve got to know if you’re real!’
    * * *
    It was a light-footed dog that tiptoed into the back of the Bogusville Bijou Theatre and hid behind a rack of clothes in the dressing room. Sitting in front of a mirror was a blonde woman powdering her cheeks.
    â€˜That’s her!’ Selby thought. ‘That’s Fiona Fullstop, the author. She’s not nearly as pretty as the picture in the book, but I can still tell it’s her. So where is Sylvia?’
    Sitting next to Fiona was a short, plump woman.
    â€˜Are you nervous?’ the woman asked.
    â€˜Of course I’m nervous, Davina. I hate these things. I’m a writer, not a talker. By the way, where is everyone?’
    â€˜Most of Bogusville is out there and the mayor is on her way.’
    â€˜Forget them — I want TV cameras! I want reporters from newspapers and magazines from around the world! This should be huge!’
    â€˜Well, we do have a reporter from the
Bogusville Banner.
‘
    â€˜The
Bogusville Banner?!’
Fiona cried. ‘I’ve never heard of the
Bogusville Banner
!’
    â€˜And there’s someone from Radio OK4U.’
    â€˜Radio OK4U? Is that a joke? I’m about to show off a real talking cat! The whole world should be here! What kind of a shemozzle is this?’
    â€˜I’m sorry, Fiona, but I did tell them. Maybe they just didn’t believe it.’
    â€˜WHAAAAATTTT?’ Fiona Fullstop shrieked. ‘Are they calling me a liar? You believe me, don’t you?’
    â€˜Well, yes, of course. I do love your book. It’s just that … you know … I’ve never actually heard Sylvia speak. No one’s ever heard her except you. And, quite frankly, some people think you just got the idea from the books about Selby, the talking dog.’
    â€˜Selby? But he’s just a made-up dog!’ Fiona cried. ‘A dog could never talk! Dogs are stupid. Cats are smart.’
    â€˜I could tell you a thing or two,’ Selby thought. ‘Now where is this Sylvia? Where are you hiding her?’
    â€˜Don’t you worry, Davina,’ Fiona said, ‘Sylvia will talk today — although she
is
feeling a bit low.And her throat is very sore from talking so much recently. By the way, where have you put her?’
    â€˜She’s just in the next room.’
    Selby crept out from between the hanging clothes and into the room next door, quietly closing the door.
    â€˜What an awful woman! Hey, there’s Sylvia,’ he thought, seeing the small cat box on the floor. ‘She’s gorgeous! Such silky fur and what a delicate face. And those big eyes. Just looking at her makes my legs go all rubbery. I’ve got to make sure I don’t scare her.’

    Selby moved closer to the cat box.
    â€˜Hi, Sylvia,’ he whispered. ‘Please don’t be frightened. I’m not going to hurt you. I think you know me — my name is Selby. You’ve read the books about me, haven’t you?’
    Sylvia stood up and rubbed against the bars of the cage. Selby could feel his heart beating faster at the sound of Sylvia’s purring.
    â€˜Don’t worry, I’m not a trick dog or a robot like the one in your book. I’m the real thing,’ he said. ‘You understand me, don’t you? Here, have a sniff and you’ll know I’m not just a toy.’
    Selby pressed his face against the bars. Sylvia purred louder and then gave him a big lick that sent shivers up his spine.
    â€˜Oh, you are
sooooooo
gorgeous,’ Selby sighed. ‘I’ve read
Sylvia’s Secret.
It’s a wonderful book. I just loved everything about it. By the time I