Seeking Nirvana Read Online Free PDF Page A

I didn’t feel that for my parents, of course I did. But Liam was what I needed. I hated that I was being made to choose between them.
    Adrift in his eyes, I searched blindly for his hand and clutched it with everything I had. I shook my head as another tear slipped from my eye. “Don’t leave me, Liam. Please don’t leave me.”
    He lowered his magnificent body, slanting his mouth over mine. He was smiling when he pulled back, and shot my parents a look of triumph with an arched brow. “Sorry, Marcus, Judy, Brittany, looks like Kady wants me to stay. So you will have to come back tomorrow.”
    The expression on my parent’s faces is one that I will carry with me to my grave. I have never felt as responsible for their hurt, and their rejection as what I felt then. I could only imagine the gravity of what they must have felt; knowing that they could have lost their daughter, and then have her politely tell them that she doesn’t want them there. But then again, I had been in a coma for four days, and only now did they fly out to see me.
    That reflection made it easier to dismiss the guilt that was gushing around my body and constricting my heart and throat.
    “Visiting hours are 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m., and 6:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.,” Susan confirmed, holding the door open for my immediate family to depart.
    Without so much as a kiss on the head or a goodbye, they strolled from the room.
    They never did visit again.
    A pressing pain in my bladder pulled me from a dancing competition with Kermit the Frog, and Miss Piggy was the Simon Cowell of judges. I was giggling as I opened my eyes. Crazy dreams.
    For some reason, my room door was open, allowing the corridor light to shine through the crack and along the glittery surface of the floor. Liam wasn’t anywhere to be seen. I felt a little disorientated waking up on my own. God, when I came to, I wasn’t even on my own. Walker was right here with me.
    Walker…t he Irish construction worker, who––I’d be lying if I said, wasn’t attractive. I recalled the way he said my name in his Irish brogue, he made it sound like Katy. I smiled, wondering if he would come and visit me again. He said that he would be close by.
    Walker and Liam…
    The unwelcomed reminder of Indian Oceans turning muddy, and Hell ablaze in the other’s eyes, the scowls, tension and hostility that charged and clashed between them like an earthquake which leads into a Tsunami, invaded my mind and made me question once again, what exactly was it all about? Why did they deem that behavior appropriate? What the fuck had happened between those two? Unpaid wages packets maybe?
    I bade to push my disobedient thought aside, and concentrate on hauling my ass out of the bed, and make my own damn way to the restroom at the end of my room.
    The off-putting sensation of a child taking their first steps made me grit my teeth and boiled my blood. With each step I took, the ringing in my ears gained, my ribs throbbed. I felt my legs tremble and everything in the room began to look like it was resting at an angle. But I was determined to do this for myself.
    At least if I was moving around, then surely the doctors would let me go home soon, in Liam’s care obviously.
    Bright spots danced across my eyes as I flipped on the light switch on the left hand wall, lighting the smallish bathroom. I took care of my business, and on shaky legs, stood myself up, the world spinning and sloping once again. Thankfully the washbasin wasn’t too far away, so I clutched onto it for dear life before my legs buckled under my weight.
    I may had been out cold for four days, and conscious for about thirty-six hours, but considering the last recollection I had was celebrating my twenty-fourth birthday, when I gazed into that mirror above the basin, I hadn’t seen myself in three years, and I was met with a complete stranger.
    I screwed my eyes shut as tight as I could, pleading that when I opened them, the person staring back at me