Seeking Nirvana Read Online Free PDF

would be one that I remembered. But there must not have been any shooting stars as I made my wish that night, because when I opened them again…the stranger was still staring back.
    My thick, blond, shoulder-length hair was dark and dreary, virtually wire looking. That, I could pass off as just needing washing. My eyes weren’t as bright as what I once saw. My skin wasn’t as flawless as it had been the last time I studied my reflection, and I’m not just talking about the black eye, swollen cheekbone, split lip and scrapes that had white tape suck on each side of my brow, that stared back at me from the accident. Panicked and alarmed, I watched as my lip trembled and my wrinkles grew deeper.
    Freeing my hand from the basin, I leaned in closer to the mirror. My fingers gingerly found their way to my face, and I wished more than anything that my fingertips could erase the creases which spread from the corners of my eyes, when they grazed across them.
    That was another wish that failed to come true.
    The only thing that remained the same was my nose…still straight and narrow.
    There’ s no such thing as a minuscule change when you’ve lost years. Everything is just…there, right in front of your face, goading you. Every single change, even down to the change of my hair parting, the span of my brow because my hairline seemed to be a millimeter further back than it was when I was twenty-four, is all too clear, too distinct.
    Each variant of my face had a story behind it: when did I notice my first wrinkle and what was I doing at the time? How did I react when my laugh lines refused to stay dormant until I actually laughed? When did my eyes become dimmer with knowledge that I no longer possessed? It made me realize that it’s not only monumental factors of the last three years that have escaped my memory-bank; it’s the miniscule things, too.
    The bitter taste of bile and disgust rose to greet the back of my tongue. I couldn’t stand and look at this person any longer. I was too scared to continue looking at that person. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t Kady Jenson, confident, beautiful, well-spoken…God, even sexy.
    In three minutes, I cri ed three years’ worth of tears.
    Avoiding the mirror, I created a hollow with my hands and splashed freezing water on my face, before slowly backing out of the lavatory.
    Liam was strolling into my room when I flipped the light switch off and rested my shoulder against the doorway of the restroom. His shirtsleeves were rolled up displaying his forearms, yet they were still hidden by the blackness of the room.
    “Hey, Kady, baby, what are you doing up?” he murmured.
    I hoped that the darkness I was obscured by had masked my scowl. “I had needs that needed tending to. Where were you?”
    He unrolled his shirtsleeves and fastened the button on his cuffs. “I needed to get a little fresh air. I couldn’t sleep.”
    I merely nodded.
    He fisted his hands through his dark hair. It was at that length where it would stay back on its own. I don’t know why, but I wondered if it would be long enough to tie back. He cocked his head as he sluggishly skulked towards me. “What’s wrong, baby?” he probed with concern.
    “What’s happened to me, Liam?” His pursed lips, deep frown and narrowed eyes told me he didn’t understand my question. I bowed my head, feeling awfully shy and out of my depth . Two simple words journeyed on a whisper as I lifted my head. “I’m ugly…”
    As soon as my words were hanging in the air between us, I studied his eyes as they hardened for a moment, but in that moment, I swear I saw fire and brimstone. He cupped my face in both his hands. They were freezing.
    “You’re not ugly, Kady. You’re gorgeous. I told you that the first day I met you, but I never told you often enough.”
    My lip curled, and I could feel those damn creases on my brow deepen. “I have wrinkles; my hair is…and my skin…” I couldn’t string my sentence together even if I