Seeking Nirvana Read Online Free PDF Page B

tried, and trust me, I tried. “…And that’s just my face, Liam. I dread to see my body.”
    Pulling me into his body, m y sobs were halted as he surrounded my fragile frame with strong, protective arms, arms that kept me safe, arms that loved me. One cradled the back of my head, holding me against his thumping heart, letting me listen and drown out all worldly sounds as it bounced under my ear. I knew he wouldn’t intentionally let any harm come to me, so I can only imagine the guilt which he must be storing at this moment, knowing that he wasn’t with me when the accident happened.
    “Three ye ars, Liam, three Goddamn years.” I unpeeled the side of my face from his shirt, and tipped my head back. He gazed down upon me like a God. “What have I missed?”
    He took his time with a simple blink, but when his lids opened again, they displayed warm, loving and contrite, green and blue eyes. Hands freed my face of stray tendrils and salty residue. His mouth quirked, “Nothing important, Kady, baby. Nothing important.”

Chapter Four
    It was like surfacing from an underground bunker after years, not knowing and unsuspecting of what lay ahead, when the day came for me to go home. And a part of me resented my boyfriend for prompting that feeling, aware that he could have at least set a safety net in place…
    It was the following Tuesday when Doctor Leviton gave me the okay to be discharged from Massachusetts General, under Liam’s care. A part of me was thrilled to be free from those God forsaken hospital walls, yet my trepidation was gradually overriding any degrees of contentment which I had strived to muster.
    Questions I asked the day my parents came to visit continued floating around in the air, still unanswered and continually playing on my mind. I badgered Liam constantly in the days which followed. ‘Why did we move? Where did we move to? What’s the other business? How come I don’t work at Red Velvet anymore? What happened?’ But each question was brushed off his shoulder in the most infuriating way, like the questions and knowledge I was seeking, weren’t important. It was as if he didn’t want me to know, did want me to be prepared to take this big step into a life that I couldn’t remember creating.
    Liam knew damn well that I needed him at that juncture of my life––that I needed his support. But as the days past, and the interval between my voiced queries and actual non-vague answers stretched, I couldn’t quash the notion that Liam may have wanted me to be dependent on him even more. With the approach he was upholding, he was coming across as though he wanted me to be this delicate, helpless person, to have me thrown into the deep end with only him as my life raft.
    I said my thanks and farewells to the staff who aided me in my recovery as I was wheeled down the corridor, stuffing my routine follow-up appointment with Leviton into the bag resting on my lap while we waited for the elevator. Focusing on my feet, Leviton’s instructions revolved around my head at light speed, as did the expression on Liam’s face as he advised me to avoid driving for the time being, that my behavior may seem a little erratic in comparison to my usual behavior, and to make notes of anything which may had transpired during the three week interval between now and my appointment. I couldn’t shift the feeling that I was being seen as a burden, like I was some suicidal patient at an asylum, and needed constant supervision.
    Lost in my musing, I didn’t notice the elevator even arrived. Liam whispered my name , asking once again if I was ready to be taken home. As I warily nodded my answer, I was rolled over the threshold, my ribs smarting as the wheels of the chair bumped over the uneven lip between the corridor and the elevator. He pressed the button for the lot, and we were shortly traveling down in utter silence.
    My straining eyes started to ache, my vision blurring as I searched and searched the rows of cars