Lacrimosa Read Online Free PDF Page A

I forget to breathe, forget my training. Forget everything.
    Everything except the memories that never end.
    I reach the back fence, unable to escape myself. I slide down the wall of the old portable classroom, fragments of my life surfacing in my thoughts.
    My sister… Why did you tell? Why?
    Adam… Why did you let me leave?
    I remember their actions. Remember my love for them both.
    My chest clenches, nausea coats my throat.
    It took too long to forget that life. Too long to lock away those feelings.
    And now, seeing things through human eyes again, it’s all back. Every last memory. Every last feeling.
    Incessant thoughts throw my world off balance as the nausea continues to buffet against my body. Too many questions. Too many doubts.
    Nesayiel. Stop it! I scream inside. Find your control! My thoughts begin to slow.
    Inhale. 1…2…3.
    Release. 1…2…3.
    I shove aside the images, ignoring the endless questions.
    Inhale.
    My focus sharpens.
    Release .
    And I remember who I really am.
    A Sentinal.
    Mikayel’s Sentinal.
    I will not dishonor him. I will not dishonor myself. One by one I release each thought, transcend each feeling. I think only of my assignment. And walk to my next class, ignoring the chaos raging beneath my hard façade.
     
     
    I use my morning classes to devise a new plan. Take Aydan at lunch. Simple enough, especially since I’m certain he’s now hunting me. I stretch my neck, back, shoulders, feeling my true form pressing against my host. I hate the confinement of my fleshy prison.
    The bell rings, indicating the lunch period. I stand, ready to find my target and finish my task. I’ve had enough of being human. Pushing through the crowd, I pour out of the door into the sea of students.
    “So, we meet again,” Aydan whispers, his breath warm against my neck. He leans against the hall outside my classroom. Waiting. Just like I knew he would be.
    “Looks like it.” Everything melts away except for him. I feel his pull at my soul, feel him lure me in.
    I resist his urgings and lock my thoughts away. Stash my feelings. Remain in control.
    He leans into me, trying again. “I’m Aydan.”
    “I know. I’m—”
    “Nesy.”
    Looks like I’m not the only one doing a little profiling. I just hope he hasn’t figured everything out.
    Kids bump into us as we remain locked in each other’s presence. His fingers graze my hand as his eyes meet mine. So much like Adam . I dismiss the thought with a single breath. Aydan is far from human. And I could never love an UnHoly.
    Get back to work, Sentinal . I focus my mind, lightly fingering the hilt of my dagger stowed under my hoodie. “So, what do you guys do around here for fun?” I tilt my head, lick my lips.
    Aydan twitches.
    Perfect.
    Someone else crashes into me, breaking the momentary bond Aydan and I share. “Hey, I was hoping to find you. Let’s go get some lunch.” The green-eyed girl grabs my arm.
    Who is this girl?
    “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Lori. Come on, you don’t want to hang out with this loser.”
    Actually, that’s exactly what I want to do.
    Again she tugs at my arm, pulling me away from him.
    “Ah, Lori. You should at least get to know me before you call me a loser.” Aydan blocks our path. “Who knows, maybe you’ll like me.” He winks at her.
    Oh yeah, he’s good. Very good.
    “I know enough to keep her away from you.” With that Lori pulls me past Aydan and his laughter.
    So much for vanquishing over lunch.
    I let Lori push me through the throng of students filling the quad, studying her. She has a familiarity to her that melts away my exterior. An innocence that compels me to protect her. From Aydan, from me.
    In all the centuries I’ve served humanity, I’ve never felt such an urge. That’s more Zane’s style.
    The feeling is unnerving, surreal. And yet, I can’t imagine anything more natural, almost like I’m supposed to care about her.
    Lori and I find a low wall in the back of the school. Far away from the