His Brother's Bride Read Online Free PDF Page A

comfortable in here; where else would she go? The barn? She searched his face, but his eyes were avoiding hers.
    â€œI’m fixin’ to move to Adam’s room.”
    Confusion muddled her mind. He wasn’t sleeping here? He was moving out? But why? Her thoughts tumbled back to the scene on the stagecoach—mere hours ago. Before you say anything. . .I have some things to explain. . . .
    Is this what he’d wanted to explain on the stage? That he wanted a marriage in name only? He should have told her so right then and there!
    She’d come to him wanting their marriage to start right. She’d come to him wanting to please him. She’d come here. . . .
    She looked down at herself, clothed in a thin nightgown, and remembered the way he’d averted his gaze upon opening the door. Her skin grew warm until she thought she might glow. She’d all but thrown herself at him, and he didn’t want her. She was mortified.
    She bolted past him, wanting to escape the stifling room.
    He grabbed her arm as she passed. “Emily.” There was gentle coaxing in his voice.
    â€œLet go.” Lord, please just let me melt in a puddle and sink through these floorboards.
    â€œI’m sorry, I thought you understood.”
    She looked away from him—couldn’t bear to let him see her face. What a brazen woman he must think me, coming to him dressed so.
    â€œI tried to explain on the stage,” he rasped. “But the others. . .”
    Her legs felt weak, and she wondered that they supported her at all. His grasp gentled on her arm, and the skin beneath it felt so feverishly hot.
    â€œIt’s not you, it’s—I just can’t. I’m sorry.”
    Her eyes stung, and she knew tears would soon follow. She would not let him see her cry. Hadn’t she humiliated herself enough this night? She gave a nod and tore away from him, dashing through the door and down the stairs. She wanted to run outside and keep going until she had no breath left in her. She settled for the porch instead.
    The door creaked behind her as she closed it softly. Her eyes still stung, though they were as dry as the prairie after a long, hot summer. She walked on wobbly legs to the porch swing and dropped into it. Please, Lord, don’t let him follow me out here.
    She’d never in her life been so humiliated. What had possessed her to go to him that way? They were strangers, she and Cade. No matter that they’d been joined in holy matrimony, they’d only met that very day. Who am I to presume what he wants? Perhaps he finds me repulsive.
    Her heart caught at the thought. The hollow ache in her stomach filled with pain. She wasn’t very comely, she knew that. Her uncle had reminded her often enough.
    She remembered the daguerreotype she’d seen in Cade’s room. The woman—his former wife—had been lovely. She’d had golden hair and petite features. And those haunting eyes.
    What did Emily have? Drab brown hair and plain features. She must look as appealing to him as a garden weed. She crossed her arms, feeling exposed. The night air had grown chilly, but it felt good against her warm skin. She wanted to stay out here all night. She wanted to stay out here forever.
    How would she ever face him again? She’d come to his room practically begging.
    She closed her eyes. She didn’t want to think about it anymore. It was beyond humiliating. She was his wife now—even if in name only—and she had a job. She still had to find the treasure map for Uncle Stewart. She still had to take care of Adam.
    For the first time, it occurred to her that if there were no intimacy, there would be no child. She would never feel a baby kick her from within. She would never bring her own child into the world. She would never hold a suckling babe in her arms. Her throat constricted with the pain of it.
    Oh no, Lord Jesus, what have I done? In marrying Cade, she’d given up her