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I’m working on it.”
    The three of us (four, if you counted Dirk, who was wrapped up in several sheets, but you don’t have to count him because he wasn’t an active contributor to the conversation) stood at the top of the staircase leading to the basement.
    “What you are about to see may alter your perception of what is and what is not possible in our realm of existence,” Carlton said. “If you are not prepared to handle that, now is the time to leave.”
    “I’m cool with it,” said Jasper.
    “Me too,” I said.
    “I’m not exaggerating,” said Carlton. “Greg, do you believe that a face could suddenly appear on your basement floor and ask you to bring it a freshly killed human?”
    “No.”
    “You will.”
    We slowly walked down the stairs. Carlton didn’t offer to help with the body, which was the kind of laziness I’d expect from my brother, but since he was paying us, I didn’t complain. There was a white cloth in the center of the floor, and also…
    “Is that a lion’s tail hanging from your ceiling?” I asked.
    “It’s a souvenir.”
    Jasper and I gently set the body on the floor. Obviously, we weren’t concerned about hurting Dirk; we just didn’t want to make a mess on Carlton’s floor, which looked like it had been recently mopped.
    Carlton lifted away the cloth.
    There was a face on the floor.
    Jasper leaned closer. “Is that a puppet?”
    “No,” said the face. “I am totally real.”
    I screamed. Jasper screamed. I cancelled out some of the work Carlton had done mopping the floor.
    “Knock it off!” said Carlton. “I told you guys that there was a face on the floor! Why didn’t you mentally prepare yourselves?”
    Jasper and I continued to scream.
    “Guys, c’mon, seriously. It’s just a face.”
    Jasper quit screaming, though I continued for a few more seconds.
    “So, anyway,” said Carlton, “that’s the face that wants to eat the hit man.”
    “Hello,” said the face.
    “Kill it!” I shouted.
    I lunged forward, ready to stomp on it numerous times, but Carlton tackled me and knocked me to the floor. My younger brother had always been able to kick my ass.
    He held me down for a moment. “Are you calm now?”
    “No!”
    He slowly counted to ten. “How about now?”
    “Yeah, okay.”
    “This traveler can bring us incredible power,” he explained. “But you can’t go around shouting ‘kill it.’ You have to play it cool, all right?”
    I nodded. Carlton stood up, and then helped me to my feet.
    “Allow the one who leaks to change his pants,” said the face.
    * * *
    “They brought you a fresh body,” Carlton told the face, after I’d changed into a pair of his pants.
    “Then they shall be rewarded along with you.”
    Carlton smiled. The face also kind of smiled. I did not smile, because I was too busy contorting my mouth in an effort not to shriek, “ There’s a face on the floor! There’s a face on the frickin’ floor !”
    It was a creepy-ass face, too. Why the hell would anybody get involved with it? You could tell just by looking at it that it was evil. This was going to end with me having to bash Carlton’s head in with a shovel, I just knew it.
    Carlton unwrapped the body. He recoiled a bit as he saw that I’d shot Dirk in the face, but he didn’t comment about it, which I appreciated.
    “Is it really going to eat the body?” I asked.
    “Yes,” said Carlton.
    “No,” said the face.
    “No?”
    “Not the entire body. I have no need for the nourishment of lungs or a heart. Merely the head. Cut off its head for me.”
    Carlton winced and went a bit pale.
    “A head in exchange for three gold coins.”
    Carlton nodded and took a deep breath. “Okay. Just give me a minute.”
    Jasper raised his hand. “I don’t want you guys thinking that I’m some kind of psycho or something, but I wouldn’t mind cutting off his head.”
    “Are you serious?” I asked, gaping at him.
    “What? When am I going to get the chance to do something