Facial Read Online Free PDF Page B

said. “In my face. Let’s go.”
    “I’m just saying, you were the one who—”
    “Chester, finish now or finish by yourself.”
    Chester began to stroke himself more vigorously. “This is so, so incredible. I’ve dreamed about this. Literally dreamed about it. I don’t know why it’s such a big deal for ladies. It washes off. Maybe they think it’s humiliating. But you don’t feel humiliated, do you?”
    “No.”
    “I wouldn’t feel humiliated if women could do that to guys. I’d be all over that. If you were lactating…” Chester considered that. “I take that back. That would be gross. It may sound sexist but it’s just the way I feel. You wouldn’t be into that, would you? If you were pregnant?”
    “No.”
    “I used to think that having sex with a pregnant chick was kinky and weird, but then I realized, no, pretty much any couple with kids have done that. You don’t take a nine-month break. And even if it’s not your own kid growing inside there, it’s still not that weird, if you really think about it.”
    “Are you having problems?”
    “No, no, no, no, no, I’m almost there. Almost there. You better get ready, because it’s going to be a gusher. Seriously, you should close your eyes.”
    I closed my eyes.
    “Almost there…seconds away…oh, yeah, I can feel it…getting closer…oh, man, am I gonna make a mess…I told you that my hot water heater is broken, right?”
    “Wait, what?”
    “Yeah.”
    I opened my eyes. “Then no, you can’t get it in my hair! I’m not taking a cold shower!”
    “I could heat up some water on the stove.”
    “Are you kidding?”
    “I was just trying to be considerate by telling you beforehand. I didn’t have to do that.”
    “Can you finish up? Please? This isn’t making productive use of our time.”
    Look, I’m all in favor of a guy who can last. The longer the better, most times. But there are also occasions when you should be considerate of your partner and finish the job without a lot of chitchat. If you moan, “Ohhh, I’m gonna come,” and I say to do it in my face, there should be a delay of no more than ten seconds before the big release.
    I’m not a bitchy lover, I swear to you. It’s just that when you’re doing something really nice for somebody (and I knew this was one of Chester’s fantasies—he’d mentioned it a few times before), it can be frustrating when they turn the moment from something beautiful—well, not beautiful , but fun—into something annoying.
    I’d keep Chester around, because he had an extremely large penis and I was in favor of extremely large penises, but if he didn’t make this happen soon, I was going to flick his balls like I was flicking an insect off a windowsill.
    If I had to guess, I’d say that your sympathy for me right now is pretty minimal. That’s what happens when you start your portion of the narrative with a moment where you’re asking a guy to come in your face. I understand.
    I never expected to be the kind of woman who would cheat on her husband en masse. Greg is the one who deflowered me, after various issues kept me a virgin until my early thirties. Hell, I wanted to wait until our wedding night, but I succumbed to his charms shortly after I bought the dress. It didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as I’d expected, and I regretted not getting started with this aspect of my life much sooner.
    It was great for about fifteen years. Not that I had a basis for comparison, but overall, I was completely satisfied.
    Then Greg had what we discretely referred to as “issues down there.”
    That’s fine. Everybody gets performance anxiety sometimes. It becomes a problem when you’re unwilling to do anything to fix the issue. If I’m down there, being extremely generous, you can’t just sputter, “It’s not working!” and give up after thirty seconds. You can’t refuse to talk to your doctor. You’ve got to work through the humiliation and make an effort. You can’t just quit