Becoming Me Read Online Free PDF Page A

wimp out and agree to her plan.
    So Nathan and the other basketball players arrive at the party (all happy about tonight’s victory), and I just act totally uninterested in him, which really makes me feel completely horrible. I’m wondering, why do people play these kinds of games anyway? And, of course, Jenny steps right in looking all cute and perky in her cheerleader uniform (and that’s after she’s loosened up with a couple of drinks—I was feeling pretty tempted to “loosen” up myself, but somehow I managed to resist).
    And suddenly it seemed like she was all over him, and it actually made me really, really mad. I mean, I thought she was my friend, and I thought it was all just an act to make Josh jealous. But it looked pretty real to me. Finally, I got totally fed up with everything that I just went into another room (it was like a library or office, and I’m pretty sure the kids weren’t supposed to be in there, but as usual, the parents weren’t home, so who was around to care?). Anyway I sat down in this big leather chair and wondered what in the world I was doing there. And why? And if Jenny was supposed to be my friend, why was she treating me like this? What fun was it to watch a bunch of stupid kids getting totally plastered—and believe me, I felt more like an outsider than ever!
    I was just about to pick up the phone and call my parentsto come and get me when Josh Miller walked in and asked if he could join me. Not for the first time that night, I tried to conceal my surprise, and said, “Sure, have a seat if you want to join the fun. I’m having a great time.” He laughed and sat down. And then we started to talk. It was so weird. Josh Miller and me just sitting in some guy’s den and talking. Just a few weeks ago, I never would’ve dreamed that this could have ever happened—not in a million years!
    But there I was, just as cool as anything, carrying on an intelligent and somewhat witty conversation with one of the most popular guys in Harrison High. And a senior too! Josh told me how he didn’t really enjoy these drinking parties that much either, saying how most of the kids acted pretty immature and half of them ended up sicker than dogs before the night was over.
    Then he said he was going to leave and wondered if I wanted a ride home. I mentioned that I’d come with Jenny, then he said that he thought Jenny was pretty obsessed with Nathan right now and probably wouldn’t even miss me. Well that got to me! So, I said, “Sure, why not?” And the two of us walked out to where everyone else was and told them all good-night.
    Well, you should’ve seen the look on Jenny’s face! And suddenly I knew I’d blown it big time—and I knew my days of popularity had probably come to a swift end. I guess Josh could sense I was worried when I got all quiet in his car (which was a really nice little Jeep Wrangler, by the way) and he asked me what was wrong. And it waslike somebody had uncorked something in me and I ended up just pouring out the whole story about how Jenny had been such a good friend to me, and then how she wanted to make Josh jealous by feigning interest in Nathan, and how I had just totally messed everything up.
    Josh ended up just laughing hysterically about the whole thing. And I figured that by now I’d really blown it, and the story would be all over school by Monday, and Caitlin O’Conner (the one week wonder) would be history. But then Josh turned to me and said that he thought I was a really unusual girl and that he wanted to get to know me better. Then he said not to worry about Jenny, that she’d get over it. And if it would help any, he’d talk to her himself. What a guy! Anyway, he dropped me at home, and now he’s all I can think about. And now I don’t even care if it would make Jenny totally hate me, if I had the chance to go out with Josh Miller I wouldn’t think twice. At least I don’t think I would…
January 13, Saturday (two strikes)
    This afternoon,