Battle of the Dum Diddys Read Online Free PDF Page A

said.
    â€œWow, wow,” I whispered.
    He slid the mouse, and we moved closer to the stable. “The Knighty Knight Knights keep their horses here.”
    I pointed. “Who’s that guy with the bucket?”
    â€œHe’s Pippy the Pitiful. He’s a Knighty Not Knight. He doesn’t have enough weapon points to be a knight. That’s why he’s watering the horses.”
    â€œHow does he get weapon points?” I asked.
    â€œFirst he has to earn costume points,” Sherman said. He moved the mouse. “See? He has chest armor, but he isn’t wearing any pants.”
    We moved closer. Sherman was right. I could see the dude’s naked butt.
    â€œFirst costume points, then weapon points, then power points,” Sherman explained. “He gets paid two bubus for watering the horses. In two weeks, he’ll have enough bubus to buy pants.”

    â€œHope he doesn’t catch cold,” I said.
    Sherman gasped. “I saw something move at the side of the stable,” he said. “The Dum Diddys may be planning a sneak attack.”
    He began sliding the mouse around frantically, clicking on bushes and trees. “Here is my best knight,” he said. “Sir Sherman.”
    I stared at the powerful-looking knight in shining armor who stepped onto the screen. “You named him after you ?”
    â€œHe IS me!” Sherman said. “Now, watch. I’m going to move him so he can scout around for Dum Diddys.”
    â€œLet me try it,” I said. I grabbed the mouse from Sherman. “You left-click like this, right? And hold it down?” I started to move Sir Sherman toward the woods.
    â€œCareful!” Sherman cried. “Sir Sherman is my best knight. Watch out! Don’t let anything happen to him!”
    â€œNo problem,” I said. I slid the mouse and moved the knight in front of the stable. “I’m so new at this,” I said. “This is fun! Am I doing it right, Sherman?”
    I pretended I didn’t know how to slide the mouse.
    â€œCareful!” Sherman cried. “Let me do it, Bernie. Sir Sherman is too valuable to risk.”
    I moved the big knight toward the stone well in front of the stable.
    â€œLook out!” Sherman cried. “Careful! Careful! Move him away from the well!”
    He tried to grab the mouse. But I held on tightly.
    And I dropped Sir Sherman into the well.
    I heard a loud splash. Water crashed up over the sides of the well. Then silence.
    â€œUh-oh,” I said, pressing my hands to my cheeks. “Did I do something bad?”
    Sherman’s mouth dropped open as he stared at the well. “Sir Sh-Sherman?” he stammered. “My best knight? You d-d-drowned him!”
    â€œI’m just not good at this kind of game,” I said. “Guess I’d better stick to cards.”
    â€œSir Sherman?” Sherman muttered, staring at the well on the giant screen. “Sir Sherman? Gone forever?” He began pounding his head on the gold desk.
    Â 
    THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!
    Â 
    Probably a good time to leave.
    I climbed to my feet. “Thanks for the test run,” I said.
    Â 
    THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!
    Â 
    He just kept smacking his head on the desk. “Looks like a whole bunch of fun,” I said. “Bye!”

Chapter 14
MRS. TWINKLER IS WORRIED
    At lunch the next day, I had no appetite. I could barely eat my three cheeseburgers, two plates of mac and cheese, four pizza slices, and a few pretzels.
    I sat with all my buddies at the Rotten House table in a corner. At the other end of the table, Beast was making everyone sick by sucking down a long, purple worm he found on the floor. He made gross, slurping noises before he started to chew it.
    I closed my eyes. I had to shut out the world and THINK.
    Sherman collected five dollars from every kid inschool. They were all desperate to play the Dum Diddy game. What could I do to cash in, too?
    After a minute or two my