Battle of the Dum Diddys Read Online Free PDF Page B

Town started?”
    â€œYes, I Googled it,” I said. “It started over a pants pocket stuffed with French fries.”
    She clapped me on the back again. “Keep up the good work, Bernie,” she said. “Sparkle and shine! Sparkle and shine!”
    I watched her hurry away.
    â€œWhat was that about?” Billy the Brain asked.
    â€œNo big deal,” I said. “Forget about it. Some play or something that’s never gonna happen.”
    Billy nodded. He finished his last fish stick. He always has fish for lunch. He says it’s brain food. He jumped up onto the table and started to sing:
    â€œWe’re the Knighty Knight Knights,
    and we have no fright.
    We even go outside late at night!
    We’re not afraid of anything.
    We’ll even climb up on a table and sing!”
    To my horror, all of my buddies jumped up onto the table to sing along with him. Except for Feenman and Crench. They were still rolling around on the floor, wrestling over the French fries.
    And that’s what gave me my awesome idea. The idea that changed everything for Bernie B….

Chapter 16
NO MORE BUBUS
    The next afternoon in my room, I listened to Feenman, Crench, and Belzer across the hall. Of course, they were playing Wungo Warriors. What else?
    I could hear horses galloping and knights and monsters screaming from their laptop speakers. Feenman and Crench were screaming, too.
    â€œYou idiot!” Feenman shouted. “How could you do that?”
    â€œIt was an accident!” Crench replied.
    â€œNow we’re gonna lose the battle,” Belzer moaned.
    â€œHow could you?” Feenman cried. “How could you spend all our bubus on shaving cream ?”
    â€œI thought it was armor and battle-axes!” Crench said. “I didn’t know it was shaving cream!”
    â€œWe’re broke,” Feenman wailed. “And we have twenty barrels of shaving cream. You total moron!”
    I heard the thud of bodies. Grunts and groans. I hurried across the hall to see Feenman and Crench wrestling on the floor again.
    Shaking his head, Belzer turned to me. “Bernie, aren’t you gonna break up the fight before they kill each other?”
    Â 
    GRUNT! GRUNT!
    GROAN! GROAN!
    THUD! THUD! THUD!
    Â 
    Feenman was banging Crench’s head against the floor. “Shaving cream!” he screamed. “All our bubus on shaving cream!”
    â€œ No way I’m going to break this up,” I said. “I’m gonna help them fight.”
    I hurried back to my room to set my plan into motion.

Chapter 17
PRINCE AWESOME DUDE ARRIVES
    I dropped onto my knees in front of the big, wooden trunk. I popped the latches and pushed the lid up.
    â€œYes! Yes!” I cried happily.
    Costumes for Mrs. Twinkler’s pageant. There would never be a pageant. But the costumes wouldn’t go to waste!
    Â 
    THUD! THUD!
    GROAN! GROAN!
    GRUNT!
    Â 
    I could hear Feenman and Crench wrestling across the hall.
    I pulled an armor helmet over my head. I grabbed a shield and a sword from the trunk—and went running back to their room.

    They both stopped fighting and stared up at me from the floor. “Bernie, what’s up with the armor and the sword?” Feenman asked.
    â€œI’m not Bernie!” I shouted through the mask. “I’m Prince Awesome Dude of the Doo-Wah Dum Dum Diddys!” I waved the sword.
    Their eyes bulged. “Cool,” Belzer muttered. “Is that a real sword?”
    â€œClose enough,” I said. “Dudes, why play the game on that tiny laptop screen when you can play it in real life ?”
    â€œAwesome!” Feenman said.
    â€œSweet!” Crench agreed.
    I dragged the three of them into my room. I started pulling costumes out of the trunk. “Feenman, take the blue cape. It goes with your eyes. Belzer, careful with that dagger. You know you’re not good with pointy things!”
    They pulled iron masks over their heads.