Wheels of Steel, Book 1 Read Online Free PDF Page A

surprised look. “Well, I guess…”
     
     
    “Jesus, Robin!” Betty threw down her napkin in annoyance. “It wasn’t bad enough that you work in a low paying, fast food restaurant, but now you want to wipe the asses of old white people, clean their houses, give them their medicine?!”
     
     
    Everyone in Perkins turned to look at them; mostly white people and Robin wanted to sink in her seat.
     
     
    “Mom, please…” She begged, hoping she’d calm down. She could already feel the familiar pounding of her heart in her chest and the way that the sweat was beading on her forehead was an indication that she was going to probably have a nervous attack, and she didn’t want to do it in front of Mama and all of these strangers.
     
     
    “Oh Robin! You know…I give up!” Betty stood up and tossed several bills onto the table. “If you want your life to amount to nothing, then fine!” Hot angry tears sprouted in Robin’s eyes. She was shaking as she stood and followed her mother out of the restaurant. How dare she judge her! How dare she say that her life amounted to nothing!
     
     
    “I…I give up too!” They were in the parking lot and Betty looked at Robin somewhat surprised. The hot tears made her colorful eyes big. “I wouldn’t WANT to spend seven days with you, okay?! The idea of it makes me sick, Mom. I’d rather spend seven days wiping Miss Lucille’s ass then in Jamaica with you!”
     
     
    Robin got into her car and drove off, leaving her mother staring after her.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Robin sat slouched in her armchair in her small apartment, staring at the computer screen of her laptop. Nothing felt right to her anymore. She was just a simple person that wanted a simple life of no complications. How is it that she had killed the one relationship that meant anything to her?
     
     
    It had been two weeks since she had spoken to her mother. She hadn’t even gone to church, her stomach was in knots and she was constantly in the bathroom with irritable bowel. She picked up her telephone before she could think of excuses not to, and dialed the familiar number. Her mother picked up on the second ring and Robin knew that she had checked the caller id before answering by the wary tone of her voice.
     
     
    “I’m sorry, Mom.”
     
     
    There was a long pause. “I should never have yelled at you like that Robin.”
     
     
    “I know that I am a disappointment to you-”
     
     
    “I know I’ve made you think that-”
     
     
    “I’m sorry, Mom, that I’m not outgoing and-”
     
     
    “But you are perfect the way you are!”
     
     
    Robin swiped away her tears. “No I’m not.” I’m afraid of my very shadow, I’m lonely, I’m sad all of the time and my life seems pointless. She thought these things but didn’t dare say them, admitting them to herself was hard enough.
     
     
    “Robin,” her mother said softly. “I don’t want you to ever struggle and I want you to be happy. You are my only family.” An only child, Betty Mathena’s mother had passed away long ago and she had never known her father. No one else that she was kin to meant anything to her. There was no one but Robin. “You are no disappointment to me! I just want more for you. I just want you to have a life not filled with struggles, and baby I am in a position where I can help you—in a way that my Mama never could help me.” Money had been tight for her and her Mother so there was no question of her Mom paying for college—if she wanted it she would have to pay for it herself. And pay for it herself she did; by working very hard. She had always swore to herself that she would give her daughter what her mother couldn’t.
     
     
    “I want to find my own life, Mom, like you did. You’re pushing and it doesn’t push me towards what you want, but away from you.” There, she had finally said it. She held her breath and heard her mother swallow back her own tears.
     
     
    “I know.”
     
     
    And then