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jokes they’ve been ghostwriting for years!)
    Look at any genre of music and you can find double-take lyrics, phrases that demand a second listen despite the fact—or maybe because of the fact—that they don’t make a whole lot of sense. Remember the song “Witch Doctor” by David Seville? Trust me when I say that more immortal lyrics beginning with the phrase, “Oo ee oo ah ah” have not been penned in our generation or any other.
    But we’re talking about Christmas carols here. The main problem with Christmas carols tends to be, not that they were written by savvy blondes, but that they were written, most of them anyway, by Joe Isuzu.
    Certainly you remember Joe, the former spokesperson for Isuzu automobiles. He made Jim Carey’s truth-impaired character in Liar, Liar look like Honest Abe in comparison. When it came to Joe, the reality check was in the mail. And even after it arrived, it bounced. Many people thought the clever ad campaign featuring this reality-challenged spokesman was a spoof. I’m not so sure. I have reason to believe that before he got a job peddling cars, Joe eked out a living by writing many of our Christmas carols.
    How else could we end up with lyrics like, “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth”?
    This is obviously a lie.
    The truth is that children will NOT settle for their own teeth for Christmas. Neither are they satisfied with oranges in their stockings or an American Flyer wagon as their coveted single gift. No, today’s children want the moon, creating holiday wish lists that require not only a table of contents but thumb tabs as well.
    I also have to wonder about the phrase “All is calm, all is bright.” It may have applied the night Jesus was born, but Christmas at my house is anything but calm. Between baking cookies, hunting for white-elephant gifts, hosting the neighborhood cookie exchange, shopping, assembling the artificial Christmas tree (and wondering why there are four branches left over), sewing Christmas pageant costumes, and writing the family holiday newsletter, it’s not unusual for me to find that the word “calm” has been deleted from my vocabulary. It has, in fact, been replaced with words and phrases like “Rolaids,” “nervous tic,” and “I NEED CHOCOLATE AND I NEED IT NOW.”
    Now, “Laughing as we go, HA HA HA!” isn’t bad. Maybe Joe had help with this one. Maybe from Jim Carey. Because laughter isn’t a bad way to approach the holidays. Sometimes, when the season takes a particularly chaotic turn, it’s best to throw up your hands and laugh about it. Did you burn the snowball cookies? Forget where you parked your car at the mall? Get your Christmas cards in the mail the day before Washington’s birthday? Then take two belly laughs and call me in the morning. The truth is, laughter reduces stress, pumps up the immune system, diffuses squabbles, lifts the spirits, broadens the perspective, and feels great. Best yet, it has no calories and can’t make you pregnant. Feeling stressed? Don’t buckle. Chuckle instead!
    There’s another song that comes to mind, and I really hope Joe didn’t write this one, because I want it to be true. The words are, “Let every heart prepare him room.”
    Unfortunately, sometimes I think we put more effort into making room in our refrigerators for Christmas dinner leftovers than we spend preparing room in our hearts for Christ.
    Maybe this year can be different. Since we’ve still got a couple weeks until Christmas, perhaps we can begin today to give Jesus a more prominent role in our celebrations. How? I know, for me, an attitude of gratitude does wonders. Am I shopping for loved ones? Baking cookies? Entertaining holiday guests? What if I thought of every task—every tradition, every labor of love—as a token of my gratitude? An act of thankful worship of the Christ whose