Ways and Means Read Online Free PDF Page A

inconvenient,’ he began.
    ‘It’s never inconvenient,’ she said in her softest tones and with her sweetest smile. ‘Where will you sit?’
    He chose the sofa and she sat next to him. ‘It’s rather difficult to say,’ he said.
    This really is it, she said to herself, and conjured up visions of the future.
    ‘I’ve been wanting to say it for some little time, but I haven’t been able to,’ he went on.
    ‘I shall love to hear it, whatever it is,’ she said, and squeezed his hand.
    ‘Well — it’s this —’ He paused for a moment. A delicious moment — there are not so many in one’s life. She was glad he paused so that she could enjoy it to the full.
    ‘It’s just this,’ he repeated. ‘I wish you wouldn’t always follow me about.’
    Mrs Stroud said nothing at first. She thought she must have misheard. Eventually she said: ‘What did you say?’
    ‘I’d rather you didn’t follow me about.’
    Mrs Stroud got up. ‘What on earth are you talking about?’ she said, her face reddening.
    ‘You must know, my dear,’ Basil said quietly, ‘you’ve been following me about ever since I came here. Look at these pistachio nuts. You know how I love them,’ and he helped himself to a handful.
    ‘D’you know what you are saying?’ she asked. She was not giving up without being absolutely certain.
    ‘Yes, of course, my dear,’ he answered. ‘I say, these are jolly good.’
    Get right out of my house.’
    ‘I’ve got to go, as a matter of fact. I must go to the police. But can’t I have a glass of sherry first?’
    Mention of the police prevented her from simply repeating her order.
    ‘Police? Why?’
    ‘Oh — I’ve just had a very nasty burglary. I’m on my way to report it.’
    ‘Burglary? Oh — I see — how very convenient, Mr Merridew.’
    ‘Convenient? Damned inconvenient.’
    ‘For the insurance company, perhaps.’
    ‘I say, what an offensive remark. That’s really too bad. I certainly shall go. I never expected you to speak like that.’
    Basil got up and walked out of the room. As he left, she said: ‘And don’t ever come back.’
    As soon as he had left, her anger, which was still rising, had to find some outlet. ‘That bloody man,’ she said. ‘That bloody, bloody, bloody man.’ She repeated the refrain for several seconds. Then she remembered about the burglary. For the moment her mind had been on the phrase, ‘I wish you wouldn’t follow me about.’ The burglary was a tonic. She went to the glass, powdered her face, which badly needed it, and rushed out to get the car. Then she drove it at the most furious speed to the Gaspards. She almost ran into the room where the party was taking place.
    ‘What’s the matter, my dear?’ inquired Mrs Gaspard. ‘That bloody, bloody man,’ was all she could say. ‘That bloody, bloody man.’
    ‘What man, and what’s happened?’
    ‘A drink, please, first. Something strong.’ Henry Gaspard came to her aid and she swallowed the first.
    ‘Again, please, Henry. That bloody, bloody man.’
    By this time everyone in the room was aware that something had happened and Mrs Stroud became the centre of a most interested circle. It did not take them long to guess that Basil was behind it. After her third drink, she calmed down a bit. Then she prepared them for the news.
    ‘D’you know the latest?’
    ‘No—are the bailiffs in?’
    ‘I don’t know — but someone else has been in — or I should say is said to have been in — he’s had a burglary.’
    ‘What!’
    ‘He’s gone off to report it to the police. What d’you think I said to him? How unfortunate for the insurance company, how convenient for you.’
    ‘How did he like that?’
    ‘He didn’t. He went off in a huff.’
    ‘So that’s what the trouble’s about.’
    ‘Not exactly.’ Mention of the cause of the trouble revived memories of ‘I wish you wouldn’t follow me about’.
    ‘That bloody, bloody man.’
    ‘Tell us some more. What did the burglars