and that I just had to be patient about not being allowed to date. Since we didn’t talk openly about anything like that, I never asked her.
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But whatever the reason, she and my dad both definitely wanted to shield me from anything sexual.”
Next to her, Dawn swallowed a sip of her hot chocolate and sighed. “This is making more sense to me now. Some people who are abused handle it well and raise their kids in a sexually healthy way. But some don’t.”
Emily widened her eyes. Dawn sounded so…knowledgeable. “And you know this how?”
Dawn smiled. “I should have told you this already, but I didn’t want to intimidate you. We kind of moved right past the normal chitchat today, so it didn’t come up, but…I’m a sex therapist, Emily.”
Emily held in her gasp. Although maybe she shouldn’t have been surprised, given Dawn’s affinity for sex when they were younger. “Wow. What does a sex therapist do, exactly?”
“What you would expect, mostly. I counsel couples and individuals who are having sexual problems. We try to get to the root of the problem and then see if we can find solutions or at least ways to improve the situation.” Then a coy smile formed on her pretty face. “And since I’m getting a little drunk on the brandy here, and since we’re old friends, I’ll tell you that I have, on occasion, served as a sexual surrogate, too.”
Emily blinked, but tried not to look too shocked. “Meaning you…”
“Have sex with someone who needs the kind of help that only direct, personal instruction can provide.”
“With men,” Emily said, to clarify, although she had no idea why.
Dawn quirked a sexy grin in her direction. “Women, too, sometimes.”
“Oh.” Her voice fluttered.
Dawn touched her knee again. “Don’t worry. I wasn’t suggesting I’d do that with you .” She spoke slower then. “Although I would. If you wanted me to.”
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Emily immediately shook her head and looked down, suddenly unable to make eye contact. “Oh, no. I would never, could never…” Her heart beat too fast.
Facing her on the sofa, Dawn lifted Emily’s chin with her fingertips and looked deep into her eyes. “Listen to me. This is lesson number one. You have to quit being embarrassed about sex. You have to maintain eye contact. It’s just sex. Just how people show their affection for one another. It’s both natural and normal.”
Emily swallowed, intensely aware of Dawn’s soft touch beneath her chin, and worked to keep looking into her shadowy green eyes. After a few seconds, it got easier.
“See?” Dawn’s voice remained so soothing. “It’s not so hard to look at me, is it? It’s not so hard to talk about.”
Emily let out a trembling breath. She wished she hadn’t just gotten so nervous—she hated that feeling. She reminded herself that this was just Dawn, her old friend.
Of course, now she knew Dawn had sex with women. But even so, she was still Dawn, and Emily was comfortable with her. “No. You’re right.”
Dawn smiled. “Good. Now take another drink. Let it relax you.”
Emily complied, and the brandy warmed her chest as she emptied her mug.
“And now, keep looking at me, Em, and tell me you want to talk about sex.”
“I want to talk about sex.” Okay. That was easy.
“Tell me you want to learn how to please your man.”
Easy again, because it was so true. “I want to learn how to please my man.”
“Tell me you want to be totally at ease with him.”
“I want to be totally at ease with him.” She was getting good at this, maintaining eye contact, feeling the words as she said them.
“When he touches you,” Dawn said, clearly intending Emily to keep repeating.
“When he touches me.”
“When he fucks you.”
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Emily drew in her breath, shut her eyes. Then opened them. “Words like that…I can’t seem to say.”
Dawn’s mouth made a straight line across her face, but she didn’t look
Carmen Caine, Madison Adler