Uncle John’s Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader Read Online Free PDF Page B

paying royal duties. As punishment, the town was ordered to supply ships and provisions for Columbus’s journey.
    The screwdriver was first used to help knights put on their armor.

THE DEATH OF
JIM MORRISON
    Did Jim Morrison really leave the land of the living in 1971...or did he just slip out of the limelight? Some facts to consider from It’s a Conspiracy! by the National Insecurity Council.
    T he Deceased: Jim Morrison, lead singer of the Doors, one of the most popular rock bands of the 1960s.
    How He Died: In the summer of 1971, Morrison and his girlfriend, Pamela Courson, went to Paris on vacation. On July 5, Courson allegedly found him dead in the bathtub. Two days later, he was buried in a quiet service attended by five close friends. The official cause of death was listed as a heart attack. He was 27.
    SUSPICIOUS FACTS
    • Nobody but Courson ever saw Morrison’s dead body; neither Morrison’s friends nor his family were given the opportunity to view it. After Morrison died, Courson asked Bill Siddons, the Doors’ road manager, to come to Paris. He said that when he arrived on July 6, he “was met at the flat by Pamela, a sealed coffin, and a signed death certificate.” He never saw Morrison’s body.
    • When asked the name of the doctor who signed the death certificate, Siddons said he didn’t know, and Courson said she didn’t remember. Moreover, according to No One Here Gets Out Alive , a 1980 biography of Morrison, “There was no police report, no doctor present. No autopsy had been conducted.”
    • When Courson filed the death certificate at the U.S. Embassy on July 7, the day of the funeral, she claimed there were no living relatives—which meant that since there was no one to be notified, Morrison could be buried quickly. In fact, Jim’s family lived in Arlington, Virginia.
    • Morrison’s friends kept the story of his death a secret for almost a week. Siddons told his story to the media six days after Morrison died, two days after the funeral. Beyond noting that Morrison had died of “natural causes,” Siddons had no more to add.
    It’s auto-matic: according to recent polls 40% of American couples first discuss marriage in a car.
    POSSIBLE CONCLUSIONS
    • Morrison is really dead. His friends say they hushed up his death to protect his privacy. A statement prepared for the public said, “The initial news of his death and funeral was kept quiet...to avoid all the notoriety and circus-like atmosphere that surrounded the deaths of such other rock personalities as Janis Joplin and Jimmy Hendrix.”
    • Morrison is hiding out. At the time of his death, Morrison’s life was a mess. He had been convicted on two counts of profanity and indecent exposure in Miami and faced a jail sentence if his appeal failed; he faced a possible 10-year sentence after being busted by the FBI for being drunk and disorderly on an airplane; and more than 20 paternity suits were pending against him. Facts:
    Morrison was sick of his life as a rock star and had been saying so for years. He said he wanted to start over anonymously, so he could just write. With Courson’s help, he could easily have faked his own death to give himself a fresh start.
    For years, Courson had urged Morrison to quit the band and develop himself as a poet.
    She, or someone else, started a rumor that Morrison may have visited a Paris hangout earlier in the evening and obtained some heroin. That, mixed with alcohol, is what supposedly killed him. Yet for all the drugs he ingested, no friends ever mentioned heroin, and Morrison was afraid of needles.
    The absence of an autopsy and police report is very suspicious, and the lie about his parents and the quick “burial” forestalled any further inquiries. A doctor could have been bribed to fake a death certificate.
    Finally, Morrison had repeatedly talked about Paris. According to one close friend of the singer, “he thought it was a place where he could be himself and not have people hounding