tough cookie, but she stood back in shock.
"I
can't believe you are already up and moving around."
"I
need to see my son."
She
held her head high as she responded. "Everything is going to be okay,
Bennett. Call me if you need anything."
"Thank
you." I whispered.
As we
entered the washroom of the NICU, my heart plummeted. Never in a million years
did I ever expect to be in this part of the hospital to see my brand new baby.
What should have been one of the happiest days of my life, quickly turned into
one of the worst and most frightening.
After
we washed up, a nurse showed us into the small area where our brand new baby
boy was sound asleep. I gasped as I took in his frail and tiny body. He was
absolutely beautiful though. His head had a small tuft of dark copper colored
hair, and from what I could tell, he also had all ten
fingers and all ten toes.
He had
a thick tube down his throat and his tiny little body was vibrating from the
machine that was technically breathing for him. All I wanted to do was hold my
precious boy in my hands, but I was told no. The nurse made it very clear that
we could touch him, but very lightly, as to not agitate him. The doctor, that
was working, also informed me that he would have to be in here for at least a
week at this rate. My heart literally stopped beating for a good few seconds. I
could feel the life inside of me start to fade away. I dropped my head in my
hands and began to cry. Gray wrapped me tightly into his arms, trying to soothe
the ache, but nothing would make me better. Not until I got to hold my son.
Seven
Gray
After
we stayed by our son's side for at least an hour, I finally rolled Bennett back
to her room. She had just had major surgery and as tough as I knew she was, I
also knew she was in a fair amount of pain. I gently laid her back in bed and
tucked her in. She was out within seconds. I made my way into the bathroom
across from her bed and quietly closed the door behind me. When I knew no one
else could hear me, I slid to the floor and hung my head as the tears rolled
effortlessly down my cheeks. I was trying to keep it together for Bennett's
sake, but the sight of my fragile son's body, just lying there helpless and
almost lifeless, I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed to let some of it
out.
A faint
knock sounded behind me, and I quickly pulled myself together. I straightened
my shirt and double checked my appearance in the
mirror, before reaching for the handle of the door. After another knock, I
cracked the door open and saw the most precious face ever, staring back at me.
"Daddy."
I
scooped Charlie up into my arms and started peppering her with kisses.
"Baby girl. What have you been doing?"
She
pointed in Hannah and Theo's direction before snuggling into my chest. I
glanced over at the two of them with an appreciative glance. Hannah simply
nodded and leaned into Theo's side. The thought of those two not being together
was almost heartbreaking. I couldn't think of two people better suited for one
another. Well, besides Bennett and me.
I
glanced over at my wife as her eyes started to flutter open. I thought the
crying would ensue as soon as she woke up, but she must've caught Charlie in
her sights, because a bright smile lit up her face.
"Bring
me my baby, please." Her voice was barely above a whisper.
I
gently laid Charlie next to her on the bed, as I closed the distance between
us. I stood back and watched my two girls interacting with one another. I
couldn't wait for our little family to be complete.
"I'll
be right back. You going to be okay?"
"We'll
be fine."
I
turned and started making my way towards the NICU. I needed some bonding time
with my son and I needed to do it alone. I could feel the tears starting to
well up behind my eyelids as I washed my hands to go into the room. I wasn't
prepared at all for what I walked in on.
Three
nurses were gathered around his bedside, conversing quickly about whatever was
going on with my