This Side of Providence Read Online Free PDF Page A

completely filled.
    â€œI packed already. For me and the girls.” I can feel her looking at me in the dark. She smiles. “I was gonna pack for you but I wasn’t sure what you needed.”
    â€œ Nada ,” she says. She throws a few T-shirts over her shoulder. They rest on her collarbone, which sticks out so much it looks broken. She’s skinny and shapeless like a child.
    â€œGo now. Get your sister. Rapido .” She keeps telling me to move fast but she moves slow, like she’s trying to walk through water.
    I go next door and get Luz from the neighbor lady who sometimes watches Trini during the day. She has a set of encyclopedias just like at the library, so Luz always disappears over there whenever no one’s looking, which is pretty much all the time. I’m only gone three minutes, but when we get back Mami is leaning against the kitchen wall with her arm over her face. Trini’s laid out on the couch, still sleeping.
    â€œMami?” I touch her arm.
    â€œWhat?” She opens her eyes. She looks at me like she’s trying to figure out who I am.
    â€œIs Lucho here yet?” I ask her.
    She looks around the room. “No.”
    I pick up the army bag. It’s heavy, like there’s a body inside. “You ready?” I ask her. She nods, but I can see that she still hasn’t packed anything for herself.
    Luz sits down at the kitchen table. She opens the book in her hand, even though there’s not enough light to read. She won’t look Mami in the eye. Trini wakes up and stumbles intothe kitchen like a drunk.
    â€œ Tengo hambre ,” she says in a soft voice. Sometimes I think she sounds like how a hummingbird would sound if they could talk.
    â€œNo,” Mami says. “ Necesita esperar .”
    â€œWe can eat when we get to Chino’s,” I tell her. Trini starts to cry. Mami stares at her, looking pissed. She opens her mouth, but then closes it without saying a word. Trini cries harder. Mami pulls out her ponytail, snapping the rubber band around her wrist to wake herself up. She shakes her head like a dog. Her hair flies around in long, blonde strands like spaghetti.
    â€œSit,” Mami says, pushing Trini into a chair. “ Callate. ”
    She gets Trini a plate of rice and beans left over from my birthday party. Luz smoothes the hair away from Trini’s face to calm her down, something she’s done since Trini was a baby. While the food is warming in the oven Mami gives her a cold pork chop, which she holds in her hand like a chicken wing, nibbling on the edges. I stand in the corner, letting the army bag hold me up.
    Mami keeps looking out the window. She lays her head against the glass. Raindrops splatter across the windowpane and the reflection on her face makes her skin look blistered. She looks like a monster. I wonder how dark the room would have to be for her to look pretty again.
    We hear footsteps on the front porch.
    â€œGood, she’s here,” Mami says. She closes her eyes.
    But she’s wrong.
    The cops enter quickly, their flashlights streaking the dark. Something falls to the ground and shatters. Trini screams. All at once the lights turn on. This time Mami don’t run. She stares at them with a look that says, What took you so long? They handcuff her right in front of me. She sucks in her breath as the metal digs into her skin. It looks too tight, like her wrists are going to snap off any second and the cuffs are gonna drop to the ground and then she’s gonna be free.
    I follow them into the hallway as they drag Mami away by her handcuffs. I’m yelling but not really making any sense and the cops are telling me to go back inside. Mami tells me to calmdown and shut my mouth so they don’t take me with her.
    â€œHe’s just a boy,” she yells to whoever will listen. “ El no sabe nada .”
    She’s right, I don’t know anything.
    I try to jump on the smaller