Ghost of Doors (City of Doors) Read Online Free PDF Page A

shifted, diffused through the trees into a gentle glow. The sudden realization that her beauty was stolen struck him. Someone else had had that face--another child had been born with that face. A child who had never lived to see a single birthday because Marie had taken her place. Marie's parents saw to that, or else she wouldn't be here, now, riding through Doors with him on Pilgrim.
    Seeing that Dr. Schäfer's Touren-AWO had already started off, Pilgrim stood and took a brisk pace on the empty setted street. Wolfgang turned around quickly in his place in front of her so he wouldn't have to look her in the eye. "Marie," he began, "have you ever thought about having children?"
    There was a pause. "Why?" she said slyly. "Are you asking..?"
    He chuckled. "That's not what I meant. I meant, if you have children, could you...do what you might have to do."
    "Oh, I know what I have to do to have children," she said, leaning forward and pressing her cat suit hard against the back of his hooded sweat shirt as the trotting tossed them up and down. "Want me to show you?"
    "No, I mean..." He struggled to get his words right--something that was becoming increasingly harder to do. He doubted that this line of thought was even worth discussing. The summer day, warm and alive with its unearthly glow, made it a terrible day to leave. It was deceptive in its gentleness, and the city, on its surface, was a wonderland of ethereal peace despite the tragedy of the door. It made a person feel strong, no matter how weak and helpless he really was. It was as charming as the girl on his horse, a woman he knew better than he knew himself and yet didn't know at all, like a child who knows the ocean because he lives near the seashore but only explores the water up to his knees.
    It would be easy to love Marie. He had come to that conclusion a long time ago. But why she was interested in him wasn't too clear; at least he couldn't see it. He used to think she was interested in everyone because he confused her charm for desire, but she spent too much time with him and was too aggressive for that to be true. Maybe that was it--the more he drew away, the harder she pulled on him. After all, he was merely human. The only human who could resist her, who chose to resist her. And why?
    Just as the city held a glamour, just as the ocean was sparkling and scintillating on the surface, unseen were the abattoirs, unseen were the sharks. Ugly things. Things that were hard to deal with and even harder to understand. Why did it have to be like that? "If you had children, you'd have to leave them in another world. And you might have to...murder another child. To leave yours in its place." The clamour of horse's hooves cursed him for Marie in the looming space before her reply.
    "I know how it works," she said quietly. He turned around as far as he could in his seat, but he still could barely make out her face, in the fuzzy part of his vision behind his glasses. She must have realized he was expecting an answer, so she added simply, "I try not to think about it."
    He turned back around to face front. "I do."
    "You shouldn't."
    "Why not?"
    "Because it might never happen. For all sorts of reasons." He could hear her sad smile when she spoke; he didn't need to see it. "Is that a good answer?"
    "Is that an honest answer?"
    "Honest enough."
    "Then it must be good enough."
    If the weather in Doors was a living thing--and Wolfgang wasn't so sure that it wasn't--it wouldn't be too hard to imagine that it was as fickle as every other creature that called it home. Wolfgang shivered slightly at the breeze that assaulted him through the rustling trees above. Believing it to be meaningful, he turned and started at the scintillating figure that formed behind them. The dust and linden blossoms Pilgrim kicked up swirled around it, drawn to it, as if trying to become a part of it.
    "Hey, what's up?" the figure asked, solidifying from a human-like white mist into a young man, all cropped