The Nightmare Place Read Online Free PDF

nice gesture, Jane thought, offering encouragement but not wanting to put any pressure on her. It was like when a friend called to check you were okay but knew enough not to stay on the line too long.
    Simon and Brenda both tried to offer more substantive criticism, but it was clear they were struggling. Richard listened and nodded anyway, because that was what they did here at Mayday, but Jane was surprised to find that the dissection of her performance was considerably shorter than the others’ had been, and at the end, Richard gave her a big smile of his own.
    ‘Well done,’ he said. ‘That was really good.’
    No it wasn’t , she thought.
    But at least she didn’t say it out loud. Even just a few months ago, she had still been doing that: throwing people’s compliments back in their faces. So that’s progress , she thought. She was getting better.
    After the training session was over, the volunteers either mingled with the other groups, drinking coffee and chatting, or else headed off. Jane was usually one of the first out of the door, but tonight, she dawdled a little. The conversation with ‘Gary’ had stayed with her. Of course, she’d known all along that it wasn’t a live call, but still, it had felt like one at the time. And just because it hadn’t been happening then and there, it didn’t mean it wasn’t real . The names had been changed, she knew, but all the test scenarios were roughly based on real calls the trainers had received.
    Before she left, she spotted Richard wiping down one of the tables, moving plastic cups to one side. She hooked her bag over one shoulder and plucked up the courage to approach him.
    ‘Richard?’
    ‘Jane. Yes, hello. Oh – are you off?’
    ‘Yes.’ She felt awkward. Richard was in his fifties, and tall, with a halo of short grey hair. Although he was friendly enough, there was an intensity to the way he looked at you that she found disconcerting. It was as though maintaining eye contact was a matter of life and death for him. ‘I just wanted to ask about that call.’
    ‘Yes, you handled it really well.’
    ‘Thank you.’ That’s real progress. ‘I suppose I was just wondering … was there really nothing else I could have done? At the end, I mean.’
    ‘Ah. Right. I see what you mean.’ He stopped cleaning the table and turned to face her properly. ‘There wasn’t, no. And the thing is, I know you want to help them, believe me. But you just can’t. What you have to remember is, it’s a confidential service. And if it wasn’t, you’d never be in a position to help them anyway.’
    ‘No, I know.’
    It was true. If someone like Gary had suspected that she would – or even could – find and stop him, he’d probably never have made the call in the first place. There was almost a paradox there, in a way. Richard looked at her kindly, and she could tell that he wanted to put a hand on her shoulder and reassure her. A fatherly gesture. He didn’t, of course.
    ‘It won’t ever stop being distressing,’ he said. ‘What you have to remember is that the caller is an autonomous adult. They’re responsible for their decisions and actions. Not you.’
    She nodded. It had all been covered in the earlier training sessions; she had made notes on each one. Even so, her conscience was ticking.
    Richard sighed, sensing her conflict.
    ‘Do you know one thing I do,’ he said, ‘which I find really helps me cope with the more difficult calls? I tell myself they’re not real.’
    ‘Not real?’
    ‘Exactly.’ He spread his hands. One of them was still holding a tea-stained tissue. ‘You won’t ever really know if these people are telling the truth when they call. We have callers who tell the same story each time they phone, just changing a few details. You know they’re making it up. But even the ones where it isn’t obvious, you never know.’
    ‘Right.’
    ‘The real Gary,’ he said. ‘I have no idea what happened to him, and I never will. But the