The Gruesome Adventures of Alice in Undeadland Read Online Free PDF Page A

the white rabbit.
    “The rabbit, it’s the rabbit!” she exclaimed.
    The caterpillar shifted and she quickly whispered, “It’s the rabbit.”
    Alice made her way over the creatures; there were things moving in those sacs.
    She sat cross-legged next to the poor thing. It looked even worse than it had in London. Its skin was so stretched by the burrowing creature that it was almost transparent. Alice could see the things growing inside were hundreds of caterpillars.
    “Rabbit, do you remember me?” Alice gently asked.
    “Oh, yes, I took your heart, so full of love for those in true death,” replied the rabbit in a state of bliss. Its one eye rolled and its tongue lolled from its horrible mouth.
    “Why did you do that?” she prompted.
    “That’s my job, silly,” the rabbit replied. “I have to collect body parts for her, or she won’t let me back into the kingdom.”
    “Rabbit, who is she?”
    The rabbit smirked a twisted smirk. “The Queen of Hearts, the heartless queen…except…”
    “Except, what, Rabbit?”
    “Except, one heart is not enough, so she sent me away…poor rabbit.”
    Mousehead spoke up. “I know where the heart kingdom is. I will show you, my Alice.”
    “Thank you,” she replied.
    Alice took a last look at the rabbit and sighed.
    “Goodbye, Rabbit,” Alice said.
    “You’re not going now.” The rabbit was chuckling now.
    “Yes, I am,” she said, standing.
    “No, you are not.” The rabbit added, “The caterpillar will not let you.”
    Alice saw the deepening of the shadow too late. She turned slowly to be confronted by the huge caterpillar. Its face was vaguely human with hints of swine and was tiny in comparison to its bloated pale, albino belly segments. It opened its gaping mouth ready to release the gas that could poison even the undead. However, having been witness to this previously, Alice was ready. She raised her foot and brought it down on the rabbit, whose egg sac split with a messy plop, spewing screaming infant caterpillars into the ground. They wriggled and writhed, calling for their mother.
    “Thank you,” the rabbit said while the giant caterpillar roared in horror trying to save its children.
    “Run, run as fast as you can,” Mousehead screeched.
    Being dead meant Alice ran with all the grace of a freshly beheaded chicken. She tripped and went splayed into the Skelegtrees. She turned to see the caterpillar bearing down upon them. Alice tried to close her eyes, not wishing to witness what would happen to her, but could not help but stare. She watched as the caterpillar came crashing down and impaled itself on the razor-sharp trees, raining down wet meat upon Alice and Mousehead. Stuck, thrashing and becoming further trapped, the caterpillar wailed like a harpooned whale.

Chapter Nine
    Alice and Mousehead left the Rigor Mortis Forest in a daze.
    “Has Undeadland always been this way?” Alice wondered mainly to herself.
    “No, not always,” Mousehead replied. There was reluctance in his voice.
    “What happened?”
    Mousehead sighed.
    “Please don’t ask me that.”
    Alice stopped and held Mousehead in one hand and stroked his dry head with her other.
    “Please,” she said. “The more I know, the more I understand.”
    “Fine, I will tell you. But never ask me again. It is a tale to be cursed by.”
    And Alice trudged on, listening.
    Undeadland hadn’t always been. It was once a magical and unusual place. It could only be reached by innocence and imagination, but, once there, a world of wonder waited. A world of white rabbits in waistcoats, Cheshire cats and mad hatters, never-ending tea parties, butterflies of real butter and flowers singing with laughter. That was until the witch came. A foul semi-human with wrinkled black skin like a dead toad left in the sun. Her eyes were blood red and full of hatred for everything and were firmly fixed at this world. She had arrived, wheezing and hunched, looking to prolong her own life, for something so dark