The Darling Buds of June Read Online Free PDF Page B

choice of
prizes. There again, what does a teenager want with a bar of
carbolic soap, a nailbrush, or a rolling pin? They don’t know
they’re born. God Almighty, what most of the FAT Bs could have done
with those treasures during the war!
    She said she’d
like an I-pod, to which Ernest replied that she could have some pea
pods from his garden. She called him a ‘spanner’? Which are useful,
aren’t they? Maybe not in this case? Must be one of those new
fangled terms? The meeting was then closed, and we all went out to
a pub, hoping to not bump into the Lord Mayor, as none of us had
that much cash in our pockets.”
     
    ***
     
    SOMETHING
TASTILY SPECIAL FROM THE KITCHEN OF STAN STASHAWAY
     
    It’s MEEE
again! Stan Stashaway, the husband of Gillian Stashaway née
Benedict nay Wakespeare, had an acre of land where he grew his own
organic vegetables, as it was difficult to get pesticides in those
days; they also kept a few pigs. Stan therefore, like all other
gardeners of his time, had to rely on bull***t, as do some
officials now. He, together with fantastic beef from a local farmer
used to make a lovely, crazily yummy beef stew in his cottage,
where Gillian and he lived. He called it Stan Stashaway’s pottage.
The recipe may soon be given a new lease of life, and may be
available at certain times in one of the locals? Who knows? Public
nagging may bring it to life again?
     
    Stan
Stashaway’s Pottage
    (Which he
maketh in his cottage)
    A sonnet by
OUR Gill!
    © Stan
Stashaway
     
    Stan’s pottage
tasteth nice to me,
    And thou
wouldst like it too no doubt,
    Of veg and
beast the best he doth use,
    And herbs and
spices to addest clout.
     
    Though spice
thou cannot leave out, shouldst thy fear,
    A badde time on
thy chamber pot,
    Just the herbs
would then be nice,
    And thy bottom
wouldst not then later, burn hotte.
     
    But fit and
healthy from dung grown veg thou woulds gette,
    In Alcester it
is the bestte stew going,
    A healthy air
would surround you,
    And Stan’s
pottage parties you could be throwing.
     
    So we hope that
you future Alcester folke,
    About Stan
Stashaway’s Pottage, talke thy wille,
    Maybe then to
keep his culinary name a going,
    Many a local
and touriste gutte, with his goode food fully fille.
     
    And guess what?
Evo Nelliott (co-creator) and myself went there to a small ‘do’ one
night when it seemed that the place was interested in the little
fabulous project. We took the suggestion that the cafe and/or the
local pubs might like to sell Stan’s Pottage? And even took them a
T shirt with Gillian on the front. Was it appreciated?
    LOL!
Naaaaaaaaaaaa!
    It has been
recorded that Gillian, when not cleaning, would help Stan with the
mini farm, and was rumoured to have befriended and trained a little
pig which she called Hammy. This innocent looking animal was,
unbeknown to humans, very arty and would sit in the trained recital
position and oink out verse. Unfortunately, pigs are rather like
working class humans, and the other pigs could be very rude when
Hammy was reciting; they didn’t want him to rise above his position
as ‘one of them’ and become ‘one of THEM!’ There is one surviving
pencil sketch of Hammy reciting, with the verse he is oinking out,
provided by his trainer, Gillian ... which I have taken the liberty
of updating, without harming it of course. The picture I made is at
the end of the story as a little extra treat for you (you are
allowed to get excited).
     
     
    ***
     
    Month 5
     
    “Hi everyone!
Mole here again. Here are the latest minutes.
     
    ANOTHER METHOD
OF FLOODING STUDLOOOY AND OVERSLEY GREEN.
    At this meeting
of the FAT Bs, Edward (78), and an ex scientist, came up with a
great plan, which caused some excitement. A little about Edward,
off the record …
    Edward is a
very clever man. He lives in his parent’s house, quite a nice
property near the River Arrow. His is a strange story, in as much
as he didn’t get on with his parents too well, because he