The Contract Read Online Free PDF Page B

himself, right? I don’t want to share him with another woman. It’s all so very confusing . . . and though I have time to try new things while I decide if I am going to sign the contract, I don’t like this state of limbo, or the way exclusivity begins only after I sign the contract. I need closure and certainty sooner rather than later.

Friday, March 11, 2011
    T oday my job took over in the most wonderful way, and I was able to quickly forget about the contract. I started out the morning with a sale. It wasn’t a big one, but it was still a sale. I set up the meeting with Ricco and my client for Monday. The most exciting part, though, was Chris coming by the gallery and my being called into Mark’s office. I soon forgot about being nervous when I heard the reason I was there. Chris set up a charity event for next month with us, and he’s going to unveil a new work that will later be auctioned off at Riptide for his charity. Mark and Chris asked me to organize it, instead of Mary, since it’s attached to Riptide.
    I am beyond elated! A new work from Chris? People will be fighting for tickets to see him unveil a new work. This is so exciting, and I’m eager to dig into the details tomorrow.
    As for my decision to be submissive, well, I’ve been reading up on the internet on BDSM and I’ve been tuning in to the Dr. Kat show quite often. I’m thinking about calling her again. I need someone who understands the dynamics of the Master/sub relationship, and I like the anonymity of calling in.
    Aside from that, I’m supposed to have another lesson tomorrow night at his place. I just hope there are only two of us—not three.

Saturday, March 12, 2011
    Morning . . .
    T he nightmare came back. I hate that damn nightmare. I hate how real the icy water feels, pouring into my lungs. And I hate my mother’s perfume, which I used to love. That sense of doom is back. I hadn’t even realized it had left until it returned. At least tonight, I’ll be lost in some kind of sexual fantasy sure to make me forget. Escaping into his world sounds very good right now.

Sunday, March 13, 2011
    L ast night I went to his house for a lesson, and it was just the two of us. It was sexy and amazing. He tied me up and produced a pair of nipple clamps. I’d never been clamped and it hurt at first, but it was sweet bliss once the ache faded. He’d told me he was my escape, my place where I could let the rest of the world fade away. And it did. It was one of the few times in my life that I have ever fully let go. I didn’t think; I just let myself get lost in what I felt. He’d made me feel that safe.
    But then he’d sent me home with a driver, and I crashed hard and felt alone all over again. The kind of alone that feels bad.
    I think I’m already falling for him. I think I could fall in love with him. But is a man who is all about Master and sub capable of falling in love? Could he ever be happy with just me? There are moments when I see something in his eyes, when I feel something in his touch, and I believe he already does. When he sent me home, I almost thought it was because he wanted to escape what he felt. But that might just be me hoping for more than a contractual arrangement.
    I don’t want to set myself up for heartbreak, but maybe it’s too late to avoid. Maybe I am destined to have my heart ripped to pieces by this man—because I know as I write this that I can’t walk away from him. I need to sign the contract and put the uncertainty and worry aside. I thought about calling in to the Dr. Kat show, hoping she would talk me out of such a rash action, but I know she won’t. I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to sign the contract.
    And whatever will be, will be.

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    If I Were You
    featuring a young woman who has stumbled upon Rebecca’s journals and finds herself drawn down the same path . . .
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