The Comfort of Black Read Online Free PDF Page A

least be defined. She could hide in black. Wrap it around her. Disappear.
    She took a sip of her wine. Really, a gulp. She was on her second glass, which, most likely, would be a full bottle by the end of the night, followed by a small headache but larger sense of regret in the morning. But tonight she wasn’t thinking about conceiving a child. She was wondering about secrets.
    The sliding glass door slid open. Dallin was home.
    â€œThere you are,” he said.
    She didn’t turn around. A few moments later she felt his hands slip around her waist and grasp around her belly. She kept her gaze straight, watching the gray mercifully turn to black.
    â€œWhat’s wrong?”
    â€œNothing.”
    He leaned his face around to hers, and she saw his blue eyes shine brighter than they should have in the faded light coming from in the condo. His intentionally disheveled brown hair faded into a smoky five o’clock shadow that accentuated his jawline. She smelled him, breathed him in. He didn’t smell like the Dallinfrom two days ago. She didn’t know why, but he just didn’t smell the same. In fact, he seemed completely devoid of any scent at all.
    â€œWhen you say
nothing
, it’s always
something
,” he said, a thin smile on his mouth. “You’ve been distant for a couple of days. What’s going on?”
    It was true, she had been avoiding him since the night he spoke in his sleep. She knew she needed to say something about it, but yesterday she just avoided it altogether. She had kept conversation minimal and gone to bed early while he worked in the study. Tonight, though, was different. Tonight she had to say something, or this would continue to gnaw at her until it ate her from the inside out.
    â€œTwo nights ago you spoke in your sleep,” she said.
    His head pulled back, just an inch. Caution. “Did I?”
    â€œYou did.”
    She waited for him to ask her what he said. He didn’t.
    â€œYou…you were talking to a woman,” she said. “I…think you were…Dallin, I don’t even know how to say this. I think you were raping and killing her.”
    Dallin pushed away from her, and Hannah felt a flash of anger at him doing so. “Jesus,” he said.
    She turned and searched his eyes, looking for panic. Looking for explanation. Even looking for bemusement. But there was nothing in them at all, and she didn’t know what to do with that.
    â€œI must have been having a bad dream,” he said.
    â€œYou’ve never talked in your sleep before.”
    â€œSo?”
    â€œSo you called the woman a cunt.”
    The word shocked him silent for a moment. “Are you asking me to apologize for what I said in my sleep?”
    â€œI’m just trying to understand. You don’t remember anything?”
    The normal, analytical Dallin would have asked her exactly what it was he said. The Dallin on the balcony with empty eyes did not.
    â€œNo.”
    Dallin took a step back from the edge of the balcony and let his arms hang at his sides. It seemed to Hannah a studied posture.
Non-threatening
.
    â€œDallin, just…I don’t know. I realize you were sleeping, and you can’t control what you dream. But doesn’t this seem weird to you? I mean, do you…do you have fantasies that are…”
    â€œViolent?”
    She hated that the word came so quickly from his mouth.
    â€œYes,” she said.
    â€œWhat would you do if I did?”
    It was as if someone reached out and slapped her open-palmed across the face. She had asked the question so she could judge the quality of his denial, but she had at least expected a denial. Not a question directed back at her. Hannah took a step backwards.
    â€œPlease tell me it’s not true,” she said. “Don’t tell me the idea of…of hurting someone turns you on.”
    â€œI’m not saying that at all. I’m simply asking what you would do if I