The Comfort of Black Read Online Free PDF Page B

do,” she said. “We have more money than we’ll ever be able to spend.”
    â€œIf I left, the value of our stock goes with it. And how could you even want me to leave? You know how passionate I am about it.”
    â€œI want you to be passionate about more than just Echo. About us. About our life together,” Hannah said.
    â€œI
am
. The other night was great. And we’re…we’re trying, you know?” He reached out and stroked her hair, and she suddenly felt like a trophy being admired on a shelf. Then his thumb lowered and traced the faded scar above her right eye, the scar Billy put there when she was fifteen. Hannah pulled his hand down.
    â€œWhat about when you wanted to choke me during sex?” she said. “Why would you want that?”
    â€œThat was years ago.”
    â€œBut still, you wanted it. You wanted to choke me.”
    â€œThat’s supposed to be pleasurable for you, not for me.”
    â€œI can’t see how that would be pleasurable.”
    â€œAnd you’ve used handcuffs on me before,” he countered. “Does that mean you secretly want to restrain men, fuck them, and then slit their throats?”
    The coarseness of his words attacked her. He wasn’t just trying to make a point. He was trying to make her mad. It was working. She couldn’t let herself be baited, because she would lose her temper completely and he would win. He would win because he could then say she was irrational and he could no longer reason with her.
    â€œThose were…stupid fuzzy handcuffs. I thought it would be fun. Different. I wasn’t trying to
hurt
you.” She felt the warmth of tears spilling over her face and she hated it. “It was more than a dream,” she continued. “You were talking. You were enjoying yourself. You were causing pain and it made you happy. I
heard
it make you happy. Do you have any idea how awful a feeling that is? What if it were me saying things like that in my sleep? Wouldn’t that make you wonder things about me?”
    He took a step forward and jabbed his finger toward her face. “It wouldn’t make me question the nature of who you were as a person. I would see it for what it was. Your subconscious taking over. This whole thing is ridiculous.”
    These last words were spoken with a voice that seemed not her husband’s and with a facial expression more of an amateurish actor than someone who believed in what he was saying. Dallin was suddenly distant, as if reading the lines off cue cards placed behind Hannah.
    â€œDon’t call me ridiculous,” she said. “And don’t just dismiss me.”
    â€œHannah, I’m
not
.”
    â€œDallin, what the hell is happening here? None of this makes sense. What’s going on with us?” She looked in hiseyes, searching for a flicker of change. “What’s going on with
you
?”
    He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then slowly exhaled. When he opened his eyes again he appeared more focused, more committed to the moment. Calm face, but body tensed to the point of explosion.
    â€œYou tell me, Hannah. You brought this whole fucking thing up.”
    There was a tipping point here. Hannah knew her husband would either escalate things or remove himself from the situation. Nine times out of ten Dallin chose to back down, apologize, or extract himself from an argument. He either knew he was wrong or, she conceded, sometimes it wasn’t worth the effort to him. He’d told her as much before. Then there was the one time out of ten he pushed on, harder, with conviction, not letting go until he felt his point was very
clearly
made. That’s when he shouted. Three months ago he had even punched a wall.
    She had never seen that side of him before, the sudden violence. It had been the low point of a hard year, a time of seeing him less and less as his company grew astronomically. Their happiness strained as their