The Color of Joy Read Online Free PDF Page A

were interrupted by Trudy rolling onto her back, pulling her thumb out of her mouth and looking up at me. “What’s the matter, Daddy?”
    Somewhat mystified, I blinked down at her. “Nothing’s the matter.”
    “You’re sad.”
    A lump the size of a golf ball formed in my throat. “Why do you say that?”
    “Because you’re crying.”
    I felt my eyebrows sink downward. “I’m not crying, sweetheart.”
    “Yes, you are.” With her tiny, four-year-old hand, she poked me in the chest. “You’re crying in here.”
    The earth seemed to shift on its axis. I wet my lips and inclined my head.
    “Are you sad about the baby?” she asked.
    I glanced across at Danny who was no longer watching television. He was staring at me intently.
    Picking Trudy up to sit her on my lap, I slid a lock of hair behind her ear. “What do you know about the baby? Did Joan say something? Or did Nanny call and talk to you?”
    “No.” Trudy’s cheeks flushed with color, as if she’d been caught doing something bad.
    “Then what is it, sweetheart? Why do you think I’m sad?”
    “Because she’s gone.”
    I felt the color drain from my face. “How do you know that?”
    “The lady told me.”
    I swallowed hard and fought to remain calm as I sat forward slightly. “What lady?”
    From the television, Arthur began to sing about library cards. Growing sleepy and distracted, Trudy glanced back at the screen, snuggled down on my lap and slid her thumb back into her mouth.
    “The lady who came to the house this morning.”

Chapter Ten

    “Danny, do you know anything about this?” I asked my son.
    “No,” he replied with a look of alarm.
    My heart began to pummel my ribcage. A little too firmly, I picked Trudy up again and plunked her down in a sitting position on the sofa beside me. She gaped at me with surprise.
    “Who was the lady?” I asked. “Did you know her?”
    “No.”
    “What did she look like?”
    Trudy shrugged a shoulder.
    “Try, honey. Was she an older lady like Joan? Or young, like Mommy?”
    “Like Mommy.”
    I began to breathe faster. “What time was it? Was it before or after Joan came to take care of you?”
    “I don’t know.”
    “Please think, Trudy. Try to remember. Was Nanny here looking after you, or were you with Joan? Was it when you were baking cookies?”
    She shook her head. “I was in my jammies. It was dark outside.”
    “So, very early then,” I elaborated for her. “Did the lady come to the door? Did Nanny let her in?”
    “No. The lady was already in.”
    “Already inside?” My stomach turned over with sickening dread. “ Where , inside?”
    “In the baby’s room. She was standing over the crib.”
    Though I was screaming inside my head, I fought to keep my cool. “Did you hear something and get out of bed? Or were you up already?”
    “I was in bed. I thought it was Mommy. The light was on.”
    “So you got out of bed and went into the baby’s room…but it wasn’t Mommy,” I added, seeking to understand, encouraging her to tell me more. “What did the lady say to you?”
    “I don’t know.”
    I shut my eyes briefly, willing myself to speak in a mollifying voice. “Try to remember, sweetheart. It’s very important. Did she know your name?”
    Trudy shook her head.
    “Was she nice, or mean?”
    “She was nice.”
    I bent my head closer. “Did she tell you her name?”
    Trudy shrugged again.
    This was like getting blood from a stone.
    “What did she say to you?” I asked in a more demanding voice. “ Think , Trudy.”
    She hugged Polly closer. “She told me not to be scared.”
    Oh God . “What else?”
    “She said she loved the baby. She promised to take good care of her.”
    My breaths came fast and short. Immediately, I dug into my pocket for my phone, went to the kitchen and called Detective Miller. I told him everything Trudy had just said, word for word.
    “Was she able to give you a description?” Miller asked.
    “Not yet, but I’ll keep