The Collected Works of Chögyam Trungpa: Volume 4 Read Online Free PDF Page A

in which saṃsāra and nirvāṇa are equal.
May natural devotion be born in my being.
May realization and liberation simultaneously increase.
     
Kind root guru, think of me.
Look upon me from the top of my head, the place of great bliss.
May I meet my own mind, the face of dharmakāya
And attain buddhahood in one lifetime.
     
Alas!
Sentient beings like myself, evildoers with bad karma,
Have wandered in saṃsāra from beginningless time.
Even now we experience endless suffering,
And yet not even an instant of remorse has occurred.
Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.
Grant your blessings so that I give rise to renunciation from my depths.
     
Although I have obtained a free and well-favored human birth,
I have wasted it in vain.
I am constantly distracted by the activities of this futile life.
Unable to accomplish the great objective of liberation and overcome by laziness,
I return empty-handed from a land of jewels.
Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.
Grant your blessings so that I fulfill the purpose of human birth.
     
There is no one on earth who will not die.
Even now, one after another they pass away.
I also will die very soon,
And yet like an idiot, I prepare to live for a long time.
Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.
Grant your blessings so that I curtail my worthless schemes.
     
I will become separated from my lovers and friends.
The wealth and food which I hoarded in miserliness will be enjoyed by others.
Even this body I hold so dear will be left behind.
     
My consciousness will wander in the unknown pardos of saṃsāra.
Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.
Grant your blessings so that I realize the futility of life.
     
The black darkness of fear escorts me along.
The fierce red wind of karma chases after me.
Yama’s hideous messengers beat and hack me.
Thus, I experience the unbearable suffering of the lower realms.
Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.
Grant your blessings so that I free myself from the chasms of the lower realms.
     
My faults are as large as a mountain, but I conceal them within me.
Others’ faults are as minute as a sesame seed, but I proclaim and condemn them.
I boast about my virtues, though I don’t even have a few.
I call myself a dharma practitioner and practice only nondharma.
Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.
Grant your blessings so that I subdue my selfishness and pride.
     
I hide the demon of ego-fixation within, which will ruin me permanently.
All of my thoughts are the cause of perpetuating kleśas.
All of my actions have unvirtuous results.
I have not even gone toward the path of liberation.
Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.
Grant your blessings so that I uproot my selfishness.
     
Just a little praise or blame makes me happy or sad.
A mere harsh word causes me to lose my armor of patience.
Even when I see helpless ones, compassion does not arise.
When needy people come to me, I am tied up by a knot of miserliness.
Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.
Grant your blessings so that my mind is mixed with the dharma.
     
I hold on dearly to futile saṃsāra.
For the sake of food and clothing, I completely abandon permanent objectives.
Though I have everything I need, I constantly want more and more.
My mind is duped by insubstantial and illusory things.
Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.
Grant your blessings so that I am not attached to this life.
     
I cannot endure even the slightest physical or mental pain,
Yet I am so stubborn that I have no fear of falling into the lower realms.
Though I actually see unerring cause and effect,
Still I do not act virtuously, but perpetuate evil.
Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.
Grant your blessings so that conviction in karma arises in me.
     
I am hateful toward enemies and attached to friends.
I am stupified in darkness as