The Baby Laundry for Unmarried Mothers Read Online Free PDF Page A

antibiotics, and the infection had cleared, but when the next
period also failed to arrive, she marched me straight back.
    This time I was given a single pill to take, which he assured us would bring on my period. If it didn’t happen, he advised, then I must go back again. It was about now that alarm bells
began ringing for us both, and my mother began questioning me, over and over again, about whether there was any way I could be pregnant. I denied it emphatically, citing the urinary infection as
the only reason I could think of for my period’s non-appearance. All the while I was in a state of growing terror.
    The days passed. When, despite the pill, there was no sign of the period, my mother, now quite agitated, changed her mind about going to the GP. I couldn’t go back, she informed me,
because the neighbours might find out; one of them worked as a receptionist at the surgery.
    Now, standing before my mother and stepfather, I cursed my stupidity. If only I’d acted sooner. What a fool I’d been.
    ‘I’m pregnant,’ I said. Because what else was there to say?
    My mother’s hand flew to her mouth.
    ‘Dear God,’ she said. ‘Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Oh, Angela, what have you done ?’
    Since the question was rhetorical, I didn’t answer it. I couldn’t meet her gaze either. I could just see Sam’s face, out of the corner of my eye, and that was all I needed to
gauge his expression. At some point, much later, I felt sure he’d tell my mother that this was only what he’d expected from a girl like me.
    ‘What have you done?’ she said again. She clasped her hands together, as if in prayer. ‘Dear God,’ she said again. ‘What have I done to deserve this? Oh, Angela,
you have sinned. You have done such a bad thing! How on earth are we going to . . . Oh, this is a nightmare ! Oh, Angela !’ I could feel her eyes boring into me.
‘What are we going to do ?’ I looked up now, my cheeks burning. She raised a finger and jabbed it towards me. ‘You do know you can’t stay here, don’t
you?’
    I gasped. What was she saying? She couldn’t mean that, surely? ‘But where else will I go?’
    ‘I don’t know yet, but we’ll have to get something arranged – and quickly. We can’t have the neighbours finding out about this.’
    ‘But where?’ I said again, feeling panicky. Would she really throw me out? Could she?
    ‘You’ll need to find lodgings,’ she went on. ‘Somewhere you can stay, well away from here, until, well, until it can all be dealt with.’
    I looked at her, aghast, as the grim reality of my situation became clearer. Until it can all be dealt with . I could hardly bear to think about what that meant. ‘So should I look in
the newspaper?’ I finally managed to say. ‘Try to find a room to rent? Where?’
    She exhaled heavily, making it clear that my suggestion – effectively, that she intended to put me out on the street – was further evidence of my irresponsibility. ‘You might
have thought of that, Angela, while you were doing what you were doing!’ She cast around the room as if she might find the answer somewhere within it. Then her hand went to her forehead
again.
    ‘Which of your friends could you ask?’ she said eventually. ‘Is there someone from your office you could rent a room from?’ She looked sharply at me again. ‘Angela,
you know you can’t stay here.’
    ‘But—’
    ‘You have to leave.’ Her voice was high with anxiety now – even panic at the thought I might be about to beseech her to let me stay, to throw myself at her feet and beg.
But I wouldn’t do that. I could see it would be pointless. ‘Only temporarily,’ she added. ‘But before anyone finds out.’ Her tone softened slightly. ‘Angela, you do see that, don’t you?’
    I did see that, I told her. And by now I did, because I’d had it drummed into me for half my life. How could she possibly let me stay when I’d committed a mortal sin? What worse
disgrace could ever