Show No Fear: A Bouncer's Diary Read Online Free PDF Page A

stairs and through a long corridor, to where we were to spend the majority of the night. The two of us where introduced to the other member of the company who jointly runs it with John.
“Alright lads if you’d just like to listen in.” He said in a loud confident tone.
He then proceeded to show us how to search someone for any drugs or weapons etc.
Firstly everyone must be searched without exception, ask them if they have any needles on them, search their hats boots bags everything. Then underneath of the collar on the shirt or jacket is one of the favourite hiding places for small amounts of drugs.
He then proceeded to demonstrate the search on one of the staff. Start at the top and work down, tell them to raise the arms, feel down each sleeve, ask them to remove any head gear, then do the collar, and over the shoulders and around the back.
Then grab hold of the waist band of the trousers and give them a good shake you never know something might fall out, then down the inside of legs and then the outside and finally the boots, ask them to take them off if you feel it’s necessary. If we found any drugs they were all put into a steel drugs box which was taken to the local police station the next day. A few minutes later the first of the night’s revelers started to emerge. We were stopping and searching the punters for a good couple of hours, we had most definitely drawn the short straw. Two huge queues were formed which stretched right back to the high street. Boys on the left and the girls over to the right hand side. There were hundreds of scantily clad young females, scruffy looking dudes and undesirables of every description descending on the place. A couple of old Trannies were parading themselves up and down the never ending ranks of impatient young people, dressed in over elaborate costumes trying to amuse the punters who were having to wait forever to gain entry. The guy who had organised the event who incidentally was dressed in a long flowing purple gown topped off with a witch’s hat was making himself very busy. Flitting about in an excited fashion with an over the top foppish manner, giving orders left right and centre with animated gestures like some kind of demented Orchestral conductor.
After about an hour Peter turns towards me as he was searching the lower half of some scruffy looking bastard, his face had the expression of someone who had just taken a bite out of a very bitter lemon.
“What’s up mate”? I ask.
Pete says I’ll tell you later, and so we eventually get a break, I ask Pete what happened when he was searching that bloke. Pete goes on to explain that while he was searching around the back of the guy’s trousers he had discovered that he had shit his pants..........
Two things immediately sprang to my mind, the first was that this fella is now going to be wondering around all night with his pants full of shite, secondly Pete has just had his hand around the back of this blokes trousers and is now munching away on a cheese and pickle sandwich using the same un washed hand. After our well-deserved break we were asked to patrol for the rest of the night. The sickly bittersweet smell of puff was inescapable and whilst doing our rounds we observe some curious sights. Some individuals were very lively jigging about furiously on the same spot head down looking at the floor and some were just standing staring into space open mouthed with blank expressions and soaked in sweat. If that was their idea of a good night out they could keep it, they paid fifteen quid a piece to come here and do that. An evening out at the races or a dog meeting for a piss up with a few pals that’s my idea of a good night out. It was absolutely boiling someone must have turned the heating on full whack. The best little earner must have been the water concession who ever had that must of made a fortune. At 6 am the end was in sight, a twenty-five strong team of bouncers form ranks and herd the remnants of the crowd