Save Me From Myself Read Online Free PDF Page A

now.
    She sighs, “Just thinking.” She pauses, “Have you heard from your mom or Matt yet?”
    I knew I didn’t want to know the answer. This is not exactly lunchtime conversation. Groaning, I reply, “Mom left me a voicemail this morning. Nothing from Matt. But, he’s still not home, so he probably doesn’t know I’m gone yet.” And, even when he does know I’m gone, he has Kimberly. We no longer have to go out of our way to avoid each other.
    Anna looks at me out of the corner of her eyes, “And you think he’s just going to drop his ‘I want you back’ routine once he realizes you’re gone? Gotta tell ya Lyr, I don’t really see that happening. I don’t think he’s going to give up that easy.”
    Looking away, I mutter, “Yeah I know.” Matt’s not going to just give up. He’s never been the type to give up on something. Or, at least, he wasn’t up until eighteen months ago when he decided that instead of helping me deal with our loss, he’d just get drunk and sleep around. He had been sleeping with Kimberly for 10 months when I found out. I’d been lost in my own grief, and didn’t notice that he was acting different. That’s why I’m in Nashville. I can’t forgive him, and I can’t move past it yet.
    Matt’s reasoning for having an affair? I wasn’t there for him like he needed me to be. Like I wasn’t hurting too.
    Just thinking about the fight that broke us brings all those memories back to the surface.

I’m staring down at the test that will forever change my life.
    When I told Aria this morning that this stomach bug just wouldn’t go away, the last thing I expected to hear was “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” My first thought was “Of course not”, but then I realized my “friend” hadn’t come in over two months. And I’m a pretty regular girl. So, Aria left and brought back a bag full of pregnancy tests. I think she honestly expected me to pee on every stick in the bag. I could barely handle the thought of ONE let alone a dozen.
    “Are your three minutes up yet?” Aria’s voice sounds anxious coming through the door. I think she might be even more nervous than I am, and trust me, I’m extremely nervous.
    “Um, not yet? I think I have thirty seconds or so.” Any thoughts of being able to stretch this out for the next year or so are over. She’s going to come bursting through that door in ten seconds or less if I don’t let her in. And truthfully, I need her to be here with me. Reaching forward I open the door. “Please, don’t make this harder than it already is. What am I going to do if I’m pregnant? I’m a Junior in college for God’s sake!” You can tell I’m becoming hysterical by how high my voice is getting.
    “Calm down Lyric. You’re not alone. You have Matt, and me, and our parents. We’re here to help you in whatever you need. Just breathe. You don’t even know if there’s something to freak out about yet.” She looks at me with a soft expression.
    I start to pace, but since my bathroom is tiny, I can only take about three steps each way and it’s making me more anxious. Aria is following my every move with her eyes and when she’s had enough, she puts her arms around me. Looking down at me, she murmurs "It's time. You need to know." Turning towards the sink, she grips my hand tightly in hers, letting me know she's here for me.
    Picking up the stick, I am not prepared for what I’m holding.
    Two pink lines.
    Out of everything I could have expected, a positive pregnancy test wasn’t one of them. I’m on birth control. This isn’t supposed to happen. I’m supposed to finish my Junior year, finish planning my wedding, and then get married next year after I graduate. Then, we can start a family. Having a baby is not in the plans right now. Truthfully, I’m not sure if children are ever going to be in Matt’s plans. He’s a lawyer, and has his own plans. He wants to eventually become a judge like his father, and his grandfather.