Save Me From Myself Read Online Free PDF

An illegitimate child will not help those plans come to be. His father will be so disappointed. Hell, my mother will probably have a coronary. I’m the “good” daughter, and I’m pregnant.
    “Congrats sweetie, it looks like you’re going to be a mom” my sister says as she pulls me into her, hugging me tightly.
    At her words, the dam breaks. I begin bawling. I feel like I can't breathe and my chest feelstight. I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack. Aria starts rubbing my back, trying to comfort me while murmuring nonsense. Or maybe it’s not nonsense, I can’t really hear anything over my sobs. “You need to talk to Matt, Lyr. He deserves to know what’s going on. There are decisions you both need to make.”
    The last thing I want to do is tell Matt I’m pregnant. He’s going to completely flip out. “How do I tell him that all the plans he had for our future just went to shit? He’s never going to forgive me.”
    “He is just as responsible as you are, so stop thinking like that right now!" She's now yelling at me , making me wince. My sister's right. I need to stop freaking out and figure out how to tell him. I'm going to his place for dinner tonight, so I don't have a lot of time to plan what I'm going to say. He's going to figure out something's wrong, and it's better to tell him now than to wait. He'll be even more upset if I wait to tell him.
    Aria wipes my tears and leaves me to freshen up, so that I can hopefully look presentable when I see Matt later.
    ***
    I've been standing outside of Matt’s door for over 15 minutes trying to get up the courage to knock on his door. I don't know why I'm so nervous. Matt and I are engaged. It's not like we are high school kids screwing up our futures. I'm almost out of school and Matt is a lawyer. We can do this. It just means Matt’s timetable will change.
    Oh who am I kidding? He's going to freak. Matt has plans. Very well thought out, rigid plans. He knows when we are getting married, where we are going to live, how many years before he becomes a partner, and when he'll finally join his father and grandfather as a judge. He doesn't do well with change. He gets upset when I have to change a dinner reservation for Pete’s sake! 
    Breathe Lyric, just breathe. You can do this. You can tell him. Everything will be okay. It has to be. This baby is coming, whether Matt wants it or not!
    I've finally worked up the nerve to knock on his door when it opens   revealing Matt looking at me quizzically. "Lyric, are you going to stay in the hallway all night?"
    I try to laugh, but it sounds more like a sob, causing his eyebrows to furrow. "Are you okay, baby? What's wrong?" He sounds concerned, and the hallway is definitely not where I want to have this conversation.
    "I'm fine. Let's just get inside before dinner gets cold." Moving aside to let me in, he presses a kiss to my forehead, and leads me through the living room towards the dining area. He's gone all out tonight. There's red wine, that I can't drink now, candles, and a dozen roses in a vase on the table.
    Matt pulls my chair out for me and I sit, feeling nauseous. He's still looking at me, trying to figure out what's going on. When I say nothing, he turns towards the kitchen to get our dinner. Unfortunately, when he brings plates full of Chinese to the table and places it in front of me, I lose it. Covering my mouth with my hand, I run to the bathroom.
    I barely make it. While I dry heave on my knees in front of the toilet I can feel his eyes on me. I really wish he'd let me do this in peace. Finally, the dry heaves stop, and he's kneeling beside me with a cool washcloth. As he gently wipes my face, he asks, "Are you okay? Is it a bug? Did you eat something bad?" He sounds extremely worried now, and I know I've got to just suck it up and tell him.
    "I don't know if I'm okay. And no it's not a bug, and it's not anything I ate.” I sigh, and take his hand as he helps me to my feet.
    "Then what is it?