Russell Wiley Is Out to Lunch Read Online Free PDF Page A

a hugely successful conference on “The Future of the Sleeve.”
    I chew some more bread and butter, thinking about having Barney for a boss. Not such a bad idea. Still, as Henry says, loyalty’s important.
    “So,” I ask, “what can we do to help Jack in all this?”
    Henry fixes me with his most serious expression. Then he looks away suddenly, as if affected by a poignant memory. A muscle in his cheek twitches.
    He looks back at me and says, “I love Jack. I really do. You know how much I love Jack.”
    And I stare back at Henry, knowing that what he really means is “Fuck Jack. Jack’s dead. This is all about me now. And if I don’t have Jack to protect me anymore, I need to be working on another plan.”
    We eat. I listen. In case you’re wondering about my burger: Good. Tasty. Interesting herbs and seasonings. But let’s be real—it’s for expense accounts only. No burger’s really worth sixty bucks.
    By the time our cappuccinos arrive, Henry has spelled it all out for me. He thinks he has six months to prove himself to Connie and Yolanda. And proving himself requires two things:
1) Cutting costs. Henry has decided to fully embrace what Connie describes to Wall Street as her “clinical approach to squeezing cost out of the system.”
2) Thinking big. He wants to come up with a new business idea that will eclipse anything Barney has done.
    “You’ll have to be ready to let people go, Russell,” he says. “Right now, we can only afford to keep our A-players. I wish we had a few more like Cindy Lang at a time like this.”
    Henry has no idea of the problems Cindy is causing me. But now’s not a good time to get into it. I need to limit the damage to my department when the layoffs come. So I say, “My whole team’s working flat out. I think you’ll be impressed. In fact, I’d like to sit down with you next week and take you through some of the work they’ve been doing.”
    “Let’s not get too granular,” says Henry. It’s one of those expressions he picked up at last year’s leadership retreat. It’s where he learned that leaders are “Unicorns.” They need to think big picture and articulate a vision for their teams. Unicorns are not supposed to act like Horses. They don’t pull carts or get sucked down into the weeds. They don’t soil themselves with the realities of actual work.
    “We need to think big picture,” says Henry. “That’s why I’ve hired a new consultant to come in next Monday. Judd Walker. Great guy. Great credentials. You’ll meet him.”
    “Do we really have time for that?” I ask him. “I just read a pretty negative article about consultants. Maybe you saw it in Vicious Circle magazine. Written by Christopher Finchley.”
    Henry gives me his what-the-fuck look, then says, “Judd knows he’ll have to work fast. His job is to help me articulate a vision. I’ll need you heavily involved, Russell. Just you and Jeanie. Let’s not loop anyone else in just yet. And don’t let it slow you down on the Livingston Kidd presentation.”
    “No problem,” I say. “You know, because timing is so important, you might want to look at some of the concepts I’ve been putting into my product development file. There are one or two that could be really interesting to explore.”
    “We can’t afford to spin our wheels. This is too important. I’ve already briefed Judd on the project I want him to look at. We’re going to need to keep him focused. Let’s see what he comes back with.”
    I don’t press the point. I know Henry can’t process too many ideas at once. When he’s under pressure, his style of leadership is to grasp at straws, pick one, then stick with it till the bitter end.
    “Is there a code name?” I ask. Henry loves code names for his secret projects.
    Henry nods, looks around the restaurant at the other mid-level executives trying hard to be noticed.
    “D-SAW,” says Henry. “Don’t say a word. Until we get a green light, this project will be ultra