Reaching Rose (Hunter Hill University Book 3) Read Online Free PDF Page A
Author: J.P. Grider
me...little flutters came alive in my stomach. For the first time in over a month, I didn't want to die. For the first time in over a month, I didn’t hate God back. For a moment there...I actually wanted to thank Him. I actually wanted to smile.
When Nina walks in, I place the unopened pudding on my tray, alongside my other uneaten breakfast items. It's still hard for me to eat anything, because eating is prolonging living, so I eat as little as I can. However, the chocolate pudding looks really good. Too late though. Nina is here and ready to get my uncooperative butt moving. Which never happens, because I just stare at my hands the whole time she attempts to get me to cooperate. It always ends up that she moves my legs with her own hands. Nina usually pulls me out of the chair and holds me up, even though I know I can stand on my good leg.
I don't want to be disobedient. Again, it goes against my nature to hurt someone's feelings, and not obeying them, or even responding to them, is the same as hurting their feelings. I know that. But as Dr. Rappaport says when he's rationalizing my behavior, "It's a normal reaction to such a life-changing event." Still...I should at least try to find the person I was before that delivery truck ended the life that I knew.
In the treatment room, Nina bends my good leg up to my chest and brings it back down. She does this about ten times before she reaches under my armpits and picks me up. I try not to give her too much trouble today, but the pain of knowing I can't do this myself is overwhelming, and I find myself slipping back in time again.
Four and a half months earlier, I'm on stage performing my solo at the Manhattan Dance Competition. Feeling inspired and at one with the stage, I begin dancing my solo, which includes my favorite, the fouetté, and end it with another favorite of mine, the fouetté jeté.
"Rose. Snap out of it, sweetie, c'mon." Nina's voice punctures my daydream, and just like that, I'm back here in my chair. "C'mon, Rose. I thought for once you were working with me, and then all of a sudden, you went into that place again. Stay with me, girl. I know you're in there." Nina sticks her arms underneath my armpits again, and this time, I use what little strength is left in my right leg to push up and onto the floor. "Thatta girl."
I'm standing on one leg. Nina instructs me to put my hands on the parallel bars on either side of me. For a moment I contemplate whether I really want to do that, but then some warm fuzzy feeling overcomes me and I do as she says. I put my hands on the bars, and she lets go of me.
"That's good, Rose. Now use your upper body to move forward. You'll have a prosthetic leg soon to help you along, but there will be times you'll need crutches to move. We want to keep your whole body strong."
A prosthetic leg? Crutches? See, these are the things that bring me down. Bring me back into my hole. I can't get past them and accept that this is my reality. This is when I want to curse God all over again for allowing this to happen to me. Nina keeps nudging me to move forward, but I don't. Instead, I stare ahead and try to slip back into my past, because that's where I feel safe.
6
BEN
It's been two days since the pudding incident, and I haven't seen Rose since. When I ask Lou if she knows anything, she says that she does, but she's not at liberty to share that information with me. So I ask Craig, who's not so much about the rules.
"Falco, man," he says, "you gotta promise me you won't say anything to anyone."
"Of course not," I promise. "I just want to know if something happened to her?"
He nods. "She had some kind of breakthrough."
"Breakthrough?" I interrupt. "That's good, no?"
"I don't know. Yes, I guess, but it was more like a break down . They put her in a private room, because her crying was disrupting her roommate. She was screaming all night."
"Why? What happened that caused that?"
Craig shakes his head. "I don't know
When Nina walks in, I place the unopened pudding on my tray, alongside my other uneaten breakfast items. It's still hard for me to eat anything, because eating is prolonging living, so I eat as little as I can. However, the chocolate pudding looks really good. Too late though. Nina is here and ready to get my uncooperative butt moving. Which never happens, because I just stare at my hands the whole time she attempts to get me to cooperate. It always ends up that she moves my legs with her own hands. Nina usually pulls me out of the chair and holds me up, even though I know I can stand on my good leg.
I don't want to be disobedient. Again, it goes against my nature to hurt someone's feelings, and not obeying them, or even responding to them, is the same as hurting their feelings. I know that. But as Dr. Rappaport says when he's rationalizing my behavior, "It's a normal reaction to such a life-changing event." Still...I should at least try to find the person I was before that delivery truck ended the life that I knew.
In the treatment room, Nina bends my good leg up to my chest and brings it back down. She does this about ten times before she reaches under my armpits and picks me up. I try not to give her too much trouble today, but the pain of knowing I can't do this myself is overwhelming, and I find myself slipping back in time again.
Four and a half months earlier, I'm on stage performing my solo at the Manhattan Dance Competition. Feeling inspired and at one with the stage, I begin dancing my solo, which includes my favorite, the fouetté, and end it with another favorite of mine, the fouetté jeté.
"Rose. Snap out of it, sweetie, c'mon." Nina's voice punctures my daydream, and just like that, I'm back here in my chair. "C'mon, Rose. I thought for once you were working with me, and then all of a sudden, you went into that place again. Stay with me, girl. I know you're in there." Nina sticks her arms underneath my armpits again, and this time, I use what little strength is left in my right leg to push up and onto the floor. "Thatta girl."
I'm standing on one leg. Nina instructs me to put my hands on the parallel bars on either side of me. For a moment I contemplate whether I really want to do that, but then some warm fuzzy feeling overcomes me and I do as she says. I put my hands on the bars, and she lets go of me.
"That's good, Rose. Now use your upper body to move forward. You'll have a prosthetic leg soon to help you along, but there will be times you'll need crutches to move. We want to keep your whole body strong."
A prosthetic leg? Crutches? See, these are the things that bring me down. Bring me back into my hole. I can't get past them and accept that this is my reality. This is when I want to curse God all over again for allowing this to happen to me. Nina keeps nudging me to move forward, but I don't. Instead, I stare ahead and try to slip back into my past, because that's where I feel safe.
6
BEN
It's been two days since the pudding incident, and I haven't seen Rose since. When I ask Lou if she knows anything, she says that she does, but she's not at liberty to share that information with me. So I ask Craig, who's not so much about the rules.
"Falco, man," he says, "you gotta promise me you won't say anything to anyone."
"Of course not," I promise. "I just want to know if something happened to her?"
He nods. "She had some kind of breakthrough."
"Breakthrough?" I interrupt. "That's good, no?"
"I don't know. Yes, I guess, but it was more like a break down . They put her in a private room, because her crying was disrupting her roommate. She was screaming all night."
"Why? What happened that caused that?"
Craig shakes his head. "I don't know
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