her whole deal, but since she's been here, she's been like this zombie. Just stares at the walls. I mean, not all the time. Sometimes she's here in this world, but mostly, she's not."
"Really?"
"Yup. I told you how she doesn't speak, right? Well, that's the other part - her zombie-like state. But Nina, her therapist, thought she was getting through to her two days ago. She actually stood up on her own, which she hasn't done ever. But then, she started to turn into that zombie girl again, and then boom. I heard she started screaming. Not sure what triggered it, but I hear that even though she's been non-stop crying, her psychiatrist said it's a breakthrough. Her accident is finally sinking in. But...I don't know. She's a strange one."
Strange? I don't think so at all. I think she's just depressed. "She lost her leg, dude. I don't think I'd handle that well either."
"Yeah. Guess you're right."
"Damn right I'm right. I don't think I could handle losing one of my legs. And never be able to play ball again? No way. Her whole life changed because of this. I mean, I don't know how active she was before, but I'd guess that even going to the mall with her friends is going to be different. No?"
"No, man, you're right. I get that. I didn't mean anything by it. God, you like her or something?" Craig says with a quirk of his mouth.
"Like her? I don't know her. I just feel bad for her." Like her. How could I like someone I don't even know?
"Got it, man. You feel bad for her. Me too. Really, I do. I'm sorry I made it sound like I didn't."
I nod, silently accepting an apology that really needn't have been made.
"Let's get on with your therapy." Craig bends down and unlocks my brace. "I think we'll keep this unlocked for a few hours today. Get your knee moving a little more. Sound good?"
"Sounds great." It may not sound like a big deal, but when you can't bend your leg, you realize how necessary the knee is in getting around normally.
While Craig is guiding me through different exercises, he asks me if I’ve finally met my roommate Johnny.
"I did. He's cool. Happy guy, no?"
"Yeah. Very. He's so positive he'll walk again, you can't help but believe it too."
"Right? I feel guilty just being here. I mean, my injury is nothing. I could've done this from home, but my coach convinced me it'd be best for my career. I'm not like everyone else here, though. It's just..."
"Don't feel bad. You need to be here if you want it done properly. And hey, your insurance pays, so you might as well. Daily therapy is better than a couple times a week. Not everyone has permanent or severe injuries here. There are plenty of patients just recovering from surgeries. Stop knocking yourself."
He's right, but it doesn't help me feel less guilty about not being severely injured.
Craig continues running me through exercises, and when my hour is up, he lets me use crutches to walk to the rec room or the cafeteria. I choose the rec room, because I'm really hoping Rose will be in there today, and I highly doubt that she'll be in the cafeteria. I kind of doubt she'll even be out of her room, but I hope anyway. I scan the room as soon as I enter, but immediately learn she's not there. Not a redhead in sight. But I do see Johnny, so I hobble over to his table and pull out a chair. As I do, a burning pain shoots from my knee up my leg and I flinch.
"Hey, Ben," Johnny says, "you okay?"
My eyes are closed when I answer him. "Yeah." I pinch my eyes closed tighter before opening them. "Wow. Just a bad pain. I'm good." I sit down, set my crutches to the side and ask Johnny how he's doing.
"Good. Making progress in therapy, so that's always good."
"Yeah? Progress?"
"Yup." But he doesn't elaborate, and I get the feeling there was no real progress at all.
Again, my guilt kicks in, but I smile anyway. "That's awesome, Johnny. Great news."
"Yeah. So when you get that brace off?" he asks me.
"I don't know. Soon, I think." I lift my leg to show him my knee. "Got it