Postcards From the Edge Read Online Free PDF Page A

instrument. Do you play an instrument? That’s interesting, that’s very interesting. We both don’t play any instruments. But, you know, I feel that you, like me, we have the spirit of musicians. You know, sitting around communicating. I think artists do that.
    “That girl in black, maybe she’s an artist. I’ve always wanted to
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    CAR R I EF I S HER
    meet someone who wrote poetry and went to jazz clubs, and she’d draw me into her life and we’d become soulmates. I wonder if I have a soulmate.
    “Can I have some more blow? One more hit, ‘cause I’m like really cresting now. Maybe we could just buy a little, what the hell? This is a party. I have not been getting loaded. This is a reason to celebrate.
    “(sniff) Aaaahh! (sniff) Ooohhh! There is like an edge on this, though, don’t you think? Am I sweating? I look all right, don’t I? I don’t look paranoid, do I? Sometimes I get paranoid that I look paranoid. I don’t want anyone to think I’m paranoid. It’s not like 1 care what people think, but sometimes I do. I admit it. I’m a human being. I’ve always cared a little bit what people think.
    “But anyway, I like it when it’s like this, you know, and we’re just talking. This is a great conversation, man. We should be taping this. So, what do you do? You’re writing? What are you writing about? Articles on stereo equipment. That’s fascinating. So should we go buy some more of this blow? He’s out? Well, let’s go to Brentwood. No, that’s true, he usually has shitty blow, but it’s not that expensive and he’s always there.
    “Are my gums bleeding? It feels tike my gums are bleeding. I don’t know why, I must have cut myself talking. Maybe we could get a lude, too, because I’m starting to feel very … unhappy. I don’t mean unhappy, literally, but it’s like I wanna be somewhere else but I don’t know where I wanna be … let’s go to Brentwood. Let’s just, fuck it, let’s go to Brentwood. Leave your car here, I’ll drive you back later. How many toots do we have left? Shit, well, let’s go to Brentwood.
    “God, I wish I hadn’t had that wheatgrass juice, I feel awful. Shit, they really should give you instructions with health food. Anything taken to excess can be unhealthy, even healthy stuff. But forget about excess, I don’t even think it’s that good for you in moderation. Nothing green can be good for you, can it? Uuugghh! Give me some more. Let’s just do the last hit, just so we can get into the car and get to the next stop. (sniff) (sniff).
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    POSTCARDS from the EDGE
    “What’s the matter with you? You look tense. Are you okay? God, what time is it? Sometimes I get so nervous and I don’t know why, you know? I heard this phrase once, `contentless fear,’ and I think that’s what I have now. ‘Cause there’s no reason why I should be this jumpy. I mean, I’m comfortable with you, or I was comfortable with you. I’m sorry I’m talking so much. I don’t know, it just must be the night. God, what a night.
    “Jesus! Where did that guy come from, I almost ran him over. Jesus! Jesus. Okay, okay, I am slowing down. I don’t know, somehow it got up to seventy-five. Jesus. Let’s do the rest of the blow in case we’re stopped. What did you do, hog it all?
    “God, man. I should never have done this. I should never have done all this blow. I hate myself. Why did I do this? Now I have an upset stomach from the wheatgrass juice and the fuckin’ thing with the blow. I wonder if that girl with the black dress is still at the … Here we are, this is his block.
    “I feel so dumb now. Why did I do that? Well, I didn’t do anything dumb. It was probably the blow. That blow did burn a little bit. Now we’ll get some better blow. I hope he has some good blow. I hope he has some blow. Maybe he has a lude, though. You know, if I could … Well, now I’m maybe in kind of a two-lude mode …
    “What do you mean, I’m talking to myself? Well, obviously I’m